Between the Lines
by ashl3yfor3v3r
Summary: Ron breaks Hermione's heart and she unexpectedly falls in love with Draco, realizing he is not evil. They search for the right, but for Draco it means his love returning to Ron and Harry, the sworn enemy. Can love and justice overcome hate and jealousy?
1. Real and Artificial

**_IMPORTANT: This chapter might be a little confusing with the beginning, but in order to make the story fast-paced I had to write two stories into one so the beginning of each chapter is going to have a flashback of events that happened the summer before the year started._**

**_Okay, for those of you who read The Truth About Love, this is completely different. The characters are different, and I'm not going to be adding a whole lot of OC's if any. But it's all still going to be really fast-paced and full of twists and turns and drama. _**

**_This is my first story using the main characters, so I might not really be spot on with the characters and I might be going off a bit from the original story, but just go along with it._**

**_Enjoy!_**

_Hermione_

Last summer:

"_Dare you to jump off that third waterfall." I said, smiling triumphantly._

_Ron pulled his shirt off and looked up at the waterfall, trying to judge the height. It was pretty tall, at least forty feet. The water rushed fast and pooled at the bottom, where everything seemed to be sucked into water. I figured he would say no, but he turned around and gave me a confident smile. "Sure, but you have to do it too."_

_I raised an eyebrow. "How is it brave if I have to do it too?"_

_Ron smirked. "Good point. You don't have to jump, just come along." _

_I shrugged and we climbed up to the rock that was conveniently perched at the bottom of the second waterfall. _

"_Not scared are you?" I teased, poking his ribs. Unlike last summer, they weren't showing nearly as much and he had the outline of six pack abs. _

"_Of course not." Ron said, smiling in a way that kind of made me want to turn around and make sure nothing was going to jump out at me from behind. _

"_Okay, jump." I said. "I'm waiting..."_

"_So am I." Ron said, his eyes twinkling the way Fred and George's did when they had just pulled off a particularly funny prank. "For just the right moment…"_

"_To jump?" I asked stupidly._

"_Kind of." He said, grinning. _

_I looked behind me just in case and then turned around again. "Stop giving me that look! It's like you're going to—"_

_I screamed with part fear and part exhilaration as he swept me off my feet and jumped off into the water fall._

_. . . ._

I slammed my book shut.

How could I think about potions and poisons when something so important was on my mind?

How was I supposed to think when my heart was breaking?

"Hey." Ron emerged from behind the bookshelf and took the seat across from me.

_Oh great. _

This was just going to make things worse, as if things weren't bad enough for me and hadn't always been. As if it hadn't taken me three years to finally understand that somehow frustration and annoyance with someone since the day we met had amounted to loving him. As if I hadn't finally admitted to myself that I loved him only to be complicated by former feelings for another. As if this summer he hadn't led me to believe he felt the same and that I hadn't completely misunderstood him.

As if I didn't love him too much and feel daggers through my heart every time I saw him, which was a lot.

"Hey." I managed to say, but one little syllable seemed to be so hard.

"I wanted to ask you…" He started, but I knew he wouldn't finish.

Ron had issues with understanding and dealing with feelings. All guys did. There was no way he would really be able to tell me what was on his mind and what he wanted to tell me. I would be able to gather some of what he originally wanted to tell me by what he didn't say, but it would be like me trying to explain to him my feelings by only using charades.

"Okay." I said, because I had nothing better to say and because what I wanted to say I would never ask him. How could I?

Ron looked down at the table uncomfortably and reached his hand out, but only to set it down on his book. He took a deep breath and for a moment I thought maybe this time he would actually get through to what he wanted to say. "Are you…" I actually let go of my book and looked intently at him. This was the first time he had actually just gotten to the point. "Are you okay?" He said quickly, looking down.

"Oh." I said, more than disappointed. "I'm fine."

He seemed to be disappointed in himself as well. "Oh. That's good." He said dejectedly. "That's good."

_It's a lie. _

But he didn't know that. Lavender didn't know that. And that was all that mattered.

I summoned my courage and spoke up. "I have a question for you."

"Okay."

I watched closely for his reaction. "Do you like her?"

He swallowed hard and the muscles in his jaw and neck tensed. "Yes."

_Liar, liar._

But I still had no idea where this was going, what I was doing, or what he was going to do. "Oh." I said. "Then she should know. It's more than obvious she likes you."

"Really?" He said, looking at me with a lost expression in his eyes.

_Maybe I was wrong._

Hating myself, I stood up and shoved my books into my bag. "Really." I slung my bag over my shoulder and turned to leave.

I half expected him to tell me to stop, but he didn't.

_Guess I shouldn't have such high hopes._

. . . .

Having stalked out of the library, I had no place to study except the common room.

Wishing I had just ignored Ron and stayed at the library where no one would bother me, I took over the large table close to the fire and spread all my papers out on the table. I still had to write a three foot essay for Professor Binns' class and if I concentrated I could hopefully finish it in two hours and be in bed by midnight.

I had just dipped my quill into the ink when Ginny interrupted my silence.

"Oh Hermione! Ron just went looking for you." She said, sitting on the carpet before the fire with her legs crossed, meaning she didn't plan to leave.

"He found me." I said, trying to regain my concentration and remember what my first sentence was supposed to be.

"That's good, have you seen Harry?"

I scribbled out my first sentence before I could forget again. "No, he's probably—"

"Right here actually." Harry suddenly appeared before me and dragged a chair over to the table. "I have to finish Snape's essay." He said with a scowl. "Then I have to practice conjuring teapots."

Ginny looked dreamily at him for a moment and then snapped out of it. "I hate having Snape for Defense Against the Dark Arts. He totally ruins it and I wish DA was back. I mean you were a way better teacher. We actually learned and it was fun."

Harry smiled and I could see Ginny brighten.

I wondered how in the world I was supposed to get anything done between Ron, Harry and Ginny.

"Hey." Speaking of whom, Ron pulled up a third chair and sat next to Harry.

_What is it with today? The Universe just hates me._

"Hey." The three of us said in bored tones, Harry and I absorbed in homework, and Ginny staring fondly at Harry while pretending to watch the tapestry behind us fight.

I scribbled away at my essay, occasionally checking my lecture notes or the book. Harry intently finished the last two paragraphs of his vampire essay. Ginny petted and entertained Crookshanks. Ron, I assumed, was studying, but I didn't look up so I wasn't quite sure.

I tried to write my essay without letting my mind stray, but it was hard. Ron kept looking up from his work to look my way and it was hard not to let that distract me or not to look up at him. A few times I couldn't help it and looked up just as he quickly looked away. I'd then forget what I was going to write and sit staring at the parchment for five wasted minutes trying to remember something I didn't care about.

I had just started the last six inches of my essay when Ginny subtly cleared her throat and whispered. "That girl Lavender Brown keeps staring at you Ron."

Ron promptly turned scarlet and I realized that the whole time he had been sneaking peeks at Lavender. "Oh." He said in a high-pitched cracking voice. "I didn't notice."

_Liar, liar._

"Sure you didn't." Harry said sarcastically, pushing away his essay and pulling out his wand.

Ginny giggled and I gave no comment.

As I finished the last three paragraphs of my essay I noticed a funny little pattern going on.

Harry would take miserable attempts to conjure a teapot and Ginny would watch with fascination. About every five failed attempts I would fix the way he was holding his wand (he didn't understand the fact that you had to flourish instead of slash down) and show him how to correctly do it. Ron would look at me with a strange expression as I did this and then go back to his study guide. Lavender would stare at him the whole time and he would occasionally look up and smile or ignore her. This in turn would annoy me and give me the need for a distraction and I would turn to Harry and fix his spellwork and it would start the whole thing over again.

It was only slightly less than extremely aggravating to have spent an hour cycling through the pattern. I could tell it wasn't only me, as there was a bit of a jealousy chain going on. Ginny was jealous that she couldn't help Harry and get some attention, Ron was annoyed that I kept helping Harry (why, I had no idea), and I wanted Lavender to crawl into the fire.

The tension seemed to be filling the air, because people kept getting up to leave and not coming back until it was just us at the table and then Lavender reading a magazine in the chair right behind our table. She had started in the most remote corner of the common room and as people disappeared, moved forward.

I wanted to hurry up and finish the last paragraph of my essay so I could leave this room because the very oxygen in the air was starting to feel steamy and heavy. In fact, my face was flushed, Ginny was scarlet to the roots of her hair, Ron was radiating feverish heat, and Harry kept shuffling his body uncomfortably.

I scribbled nonsense for the last four sentences of my essay and then abruptly stood up, knocking over the chair. I quickly shoved everything into my bag and then without even saying anything, rushed up the stairs to my dorm. I ignored all the girls at my dorm that looked up at me as I came in and grabbed an armful of my stuff and then left to take a shower because somehow I was flushed to my fingertips and felt clammy with sweat.

My mind was feverish and whirring thoughts in a tornado, taking them in for only a second before being sucked in and confused by my other thoughts that cycled in and out of my conscious thought. This stopped only when I saw Ginny literally running into her dorm and Harry skipping stairs to leave the common room.

Only after I had turned on the cold shower and eased my mind, did I get a knot in my stomach because I realized we had left Ron and Lavender in the common room alone.

. . . .

Sometimes I really hate the girls in my dorm.

Consisting of Parvati Patil who won't admit that she's still got a huge crush on Harry, Lavender Brown who I constantly wish would submerge herself into the lake and count to a million, Cara Carlisle who owns more shoes than there are days of the year, Selena Rivers who is only slightly more intelligent than sweater fuzz, and Grace Renna who is always on a sugar rush, it would be an understatement to say they were slightly crazy.

I know I'm not normal, but at least I keep my interaction with them to a minimum.

On the other hand, they love to get up in my face and prove me wrong, which might I add happens very rarely. But they try anyways.

As I came back into the dorm, having calmed down a good deal from earlier, the girls all looked up at me the second I came in.

"So Hermione," Lavender said in her annoying high-pitched screech.

I pretended not to hear her and continued to walk past her.

"You're friends with Ron Weasley."

I gave a noncommittal nod and drew the hangings of my bed together so I could change into my pajamas.

"Do you think I'm his type?"

I could have laughed so hard I fell off the bed. Instead, I passed off my laugh as an obnoxious coughing fit. "Um, sorry, what?" I said, wrenching the hangings open.

Lavender seemed oblivious. "Am I his type?"

"Um, sure." I said, because I really had no idea if Ron had a type and because I wanted her to hurry and shut up.

"Have you ever thought about going out with him?" Grace asked.

"Ew, no." I said, just for their sake, since I really didn't want to be the topic of gossip or reveal the depths of my pain.

The girls all gasped nearly simultaneously. "But I mean, he's kind of cute now, like he must have worked out or something and I don't know, I've always thought he was kind of good looking." Lavender said. Which is basically what they say when a guy comes back from summer a foot taller and more muscular.

"Um…" I couldn't help thinking how shallow that was. "I never really noticed."

Lavender looked at me like I had just confessed to living in a box my whole life. "Well, I was just curious and I wanted to make sure there was absolutely nothing between you two. I think I feel a lot better about it now." She sighed dreamily and smiled at me in a sickeningly fake way.

I smiled back equally insincerely. "No, he's all yours."

But I would never let that happen.

**_Please review :) _**

**_First chapter reviews are very important to me and I usually don't go on with the story until I get enough feedback._**

**_Thanks in advance to anyone who reads and reviews!_**


	2. Skies and Walls

**_Kayla, Amy, and ginnyweasleyno1fan123, you're awesome for reviewing!_**

_Hermione_

Last summer:

_I screamed with part fear and part exhilaration as he swept me off my feet and jumped off into the water fall._

_I breathed in heavily a few times as he rolled over, still laughing. _

_I summoned my strength and rolled over, pinning him down (which shouldn't have been too hard since he was still laughing). "You—are—so—dead—Ronald—Weasley!" I yelled, punctuating each word by punching him. When he was still laughing, I let out an aggravated scream and pounded his chest. "That wasn't funny!"_

"_Did you see the look on your face?" Ron stopped laughing long enough to ask. "Priceless, Hermione. Priceless."_

_I crossed my arms and tossed my wet hair in his face. "No. It wasn't."_

"_Come on, Hermione."_

_I tilted my head up so that I wasn't looking at him. "No, I'm mad at you."_

"_Aw, it's not like you would have drowned or anything."_

"_And what if I did?"_

"_You wouldn't, because I'd have to go save you like the great brave hero I am."_

_I laughed dryly. "The hero isn't supposed to put the damsel in distress. He's supposed to save her from distress."_

"_Okay, okay. I'm sorry."_

"_And?"_

"_And I was wrong."_

"_Okay." I smiled and got off of him._

"_No, stay." He reached out with one arm and rested his hand on the small of my back. "I liked it."_

"_What? This?" _

_I leaned down, my hands flat on his chest, with the tips of my wet hair brushing against his cheek. My body made a nice curve and my arms rested on his ribs, which I could feel expanding and contracting with each slow, deep breath. His red hair was wet and sticking up in all directions in an incredibly sexy way. The deep blue of his eyes was electrifying and mesmerizing. After all these years, I had never looked truly, directly, deeply, into his eyes and it captured me, the color, depth, and seriousness they held. His lightly tanned skin felt hot under the sun, and the droplets of water on his skin were sticking onto me._

* * *

"This is ridiculous." I said, throwing my arms up. "Really, is Quidditch _all _that matters to you?"

"Yes." Ron and Harry said together.

"It's fun!" Ginny said, as if she hadn't spent three summers trying to convince me so.

I rolled my eyes and opened up my Potions book. The way I see it, the only good things about Quidditch are that the guys on the team are generally good looking. But that's really, the only good thing I see about Quidditch. Because really, it's just a bunch of (good-looking) guys flying around getting hit in the head by bludgers, which incidentally might be the reason why they're all big-headed and unintelligent.

Oh, and I forgot the girls, who probably join the team just to flirt with the (mostly) good-looking guys. I think they all got hit in the head too many times. Either that or they're flying too high up and letting their mind get fuzzy.

"Well at least drink something." Harry said.

I wondered how it was possible to be passionate for something so pathetic as I reached under the table for my bag so I could get my quill and start my essay before the match. I saw a small bottle in Harry's hand and immediately reached for my book and smacked his shoulder. "What do you think you're doing?!" I demanded.

"Nothing." He said, pushing a tainted goblet of pumpkin juice towards Ron, with a smirk in his eyes.

I glared at the two of them. "It's just a stupid game!"

"To you, maybe." Ron said, tipping his glass against Harry's and drinking the adulterated contents.

"You can't really—"

"Hi Ron." A high-pitched and too girly voice said.

_Oh, this morning isn't bad enough?_

"Uh… Lavender. Oh… er…hi." Ron stuttered, turning red.

Lavender placed her sickly hot pink nails on his shoulder. "Good luck!" She smiled and then ran off.

Ginny snickered. "Yeah, you'll need it. You couldn't even manage a decent 'hey'? I mean she's only halfway pretty. Not exactly worth being speechless."

And at that moment I absolutely loved Ginny. I turned to Harry. "Well I can't believe you!" I reached under the table for my bag and left.

I stalked off in the opposite direction of the Quidditch pitch, where people were already headed. Really, Quidditch is overrated.

The more I tried not to think about Lavender and Ron, the more I _did _think about them. It made me mad, that Lavender thought he was all hers. The only reason she even wanted to go out with him was because suddenly everyone else thought he was cute. Well that's not the same thing as love, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to punch someone in the face.

And that must have been written all over me, because as I walked by, people immediately moved out of my way, because when I'm mad, I look like I could kill someone, which is really unfortunate for that person because I never feel bad for anything until right after I do it. After I've lashed out at whoever was asking for it, I typically get over my rage and feel bad.

Well, with this next part excluded.

"Watch it, Mudblood!" Draco Malfoy sneered as I walked into him.

"I'm not in the mood for this." I snarled. "And if you don't get out of my way in exactly two seconds, I'm going to kick your ass."

Crabbe and Goyle both grinned and cracked their knuckles as they moved from their position flanking Draco to standing in front of him.

"You asked for it." I whirled around and kicked Crabbe in the face and slammed my elbow into Goyle's temple, causing both of them to topple onto Draco and land the three of them in the fountain.

Having successfully dealt with them, I tossed my hair just for fun like they do in muggle spy movies. With my anger cleared, I decided that maybe it would be better for me to "accidentally" push Lavender off the stands than do my Transfiguration homework. Smiling at the thought, I flattened my hair and smirked at the idiots in the fountain.

"See ya at the match, boys."

* * *  
_Draco_

I paced the Room of Requirement.

I knew what had to be done. I knew it had to be me. And I knew I had to do it.

I was being forced to do something I didn't want to do. He was making me someone I couldn't be. My mission was to kill in cold blood, one of the greatest wizards of all time, and an innocent girl. Maybe I didn't like either of them, I mean after all, Dumbledore's ways drove me crazy and Granger was a meddling Mudblood, but I couldn't do it. I had hurt people before, and most of the time it was alright with me because they were unrelated, unimportant, but killing was different.

Killing is permanent.

It's irreversible.

It's unchangeable.

_But you have to. You have to do it._

I paced faster.

_Your life depends on it._

I stopped at a wall. My palms were sweating and my heart was racing.

_Your life, after all, is far more important than that of a filthy and unworthy Mudblood._

I curled my fingers into fists and punched the wall as hard as I could, causing dust to fall, the shelf against the wall to shake, and several small objects to fall and shatter on the ground.

How could it be that my life was suspended on the condition that I end two others?

And part of me had to wonder, _is my life even worth that?_

* * *  
_Hermione_

"Congratulations!" I ran from the stands and gave Ron a hug. He seemed surprised, but put his arms around me to return the embrace. "I knew you could do it."

I let go of him. "Uh, really?" He asked, ruffling his hair and laughing.

"Just take the compliment, Ron." Harry said, giving me a one-armed hug.

Ron shrugged. "Okay. But… did you really do it?" He asked Harry.

Harry raised his eyebrows and gave us a look of quizzical innocence. "What are you talking about?" He held up a sealed bottle of gold liquid.

My mouth dropped open and Ron's eyed widened. Both of us were shocked.

Then Ron laughed. "So that was all me!"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Yeah, all you and that fat head of yours."

Harry and I laughed.

"You didn't really believe I could." Ron said to me. He imitated me in a falsetto voice, "Well I don't believe you can do it."

Ginny and Ron laughed loudly.

"I never said that." I said angrily.

"Well with that said I'm going." Ginny said, walking ahead.

"Ron! Party in the common room in five minutes!" Dean shouted as he ran by and slipped an arm around Ginny's waist.

"Sweet." Ron ruffled his hair again and smiled confidently. He walked off to the common room with Lavender and a group of other girls trailing after him.

"Um, should we go?" Harry asked awkwardly.

Angry tears trailing down my cheeks, I held my head high and walked ahead. "No, you go."

I stormed into the castle and was about to turn to find my way to my dorm when I heard Lavender's high pitched giggle and decided to go the other way, as far away as I could from the two, and broke into a run. Unsure of where to go, I took random turns at the hallways and staircases until I reached a dead end.

I turned to find another way, when a stone door I hadn't seen slammed shut, blocking me in.

I stood frozen on the spot for a good five seconds, completely unsure of what to do. Then I took my wand out and turned to see if there was any other way out or any painting I could ask for directions. The area was poorly lit and I saw nothing.

"_Incarcerous._"

I whirled around just in time to see ropes conjured out of thin air wrap themselves around my arms, pinning them to my torso, and my legs together, causing them to fall out from under me. I fell to the ground and looked up to see a figure emerge from a shadowed corner into the flickering torchlight.

The pale face staring back at me was Draco Malfoy.

**_:O_**

**_Well, like it, love it, hate it, whatever... just review anyways ^^_**


	3. Come and Go

**_Thank you ginnyweasleyno1fan123 and tat1312 for reviewing!_**

_Hermione_

Last summer:

"_Just like that." He whispered, his breath causing my skin to tingle. _

_I stopped being able to think. My body stopped listening to me and instead of moving away, or locking in place, it had moved of its own accord. I felt like I couldn't breathe, but all of this was strangely in a good way. It was as if I stopped needing to think or even breathe. I didn't want anything, see anything, or need anything but him. Common sense, dignity, oxygen, all of if suddenly disappeared. There was no need for it anymore._

_He put his other hand on the back of my neck and gently massaged the knot just at the top of my spine, which was tingling with electricity. I worked my fingers into his hair and wrapped my arms around him. I brushed a butterfly kiss just above his right collarbone and then on his neck. I skimmed my lips along his chiseled jawline and blinked my eyelashes against his cheek. _

_I had no idea where all of this was coming, or where it was really going, but I stopped caring. Why would I want to be Hermione Granger, the boring and brainy girl? Did it matter that my parents were boring dentists who wouldn't love me unless I was just as ordinary as they were? What did it matter if I missed one of the translations on my exam? _

_I slowly worked my way up, something inside of me telling me what, when, and why, making him want me. Suddenly he pulled me towards him and I lost all control as our lips made contact. A steamy, hot, craving desire seemed to take over us. Forget the brushing butterfly kisses and eyelashes, we were really kissing. _

_I ran one hand down his chest and felt it rising and falling, the muscles rippling. His hands rested on the small of my back and the curve on my hips. I breathed in short, heavy, steaming vapor. There seemed to be no air. I couldn't take myself away from him, and I knew he felt the same._

* * *  
_Draco_

I had at least thirty seconds to kill her and run.

"Let me go." She said, staring at me with venomous hate.

"I don't think so." I said, snarling at her. Didn't she realize that I could kill her? That I would?

_No you wouldn't. You said so yourself._

She rolled her eyes and managed to get herself into a sitting position. "Okay, whatever you're going to do just get it over with. Haven't you had, what, at least a minute to do it?"

"Shut up." I pointed my wand at her.

"Oh I see." She said in a bored voice. "We're going to be stuck here, me watching you pace in circles around me, until the night ends and I finally decide it'd be better if you just did it and you cave in and just obliterate me."

I silenced her with a Silencing Charm, but she just sat there with a bored and smug expression.

Possibly the worst part was that she was completely right. I _wanted _her to die, but I didn't want to be the one that did it. As I paced in circles, staring her down, I realized this was completely a waste of time. Why would I spare her life at the expense of mine? She continued glaring at me with hostile coldness and… was it possible? A hint of pity.

"Don't give me that look." I said. "I don't need you feeling _sorry _for me."

She smirked, her eyes mocking me, but said nothing, possibly because I had silenced her. No matter, she was better that way, almost tolerable, as long as I didn't look at her. I could feel her stare cutting into me, the intensity of her hate for me. It amused me that she loathed me so much, but was yet at my mercy, not that I really wanted to show her any.

Believe me, I hated her just as much, if not more.

This internal fight within me was _not _for her sake, but mine.

I didn't care for her at all. I hated everything about her from her allegiance (and probably more) to Potter and her deeply glaring brown eyes. I couldn't stand her very presence in the room. It was just the fact that I had to end a life that didn't quite sit well with me.

"Are you about done yet?" She finally said.

"Didn't I Silence you?" I snapped.

She shrugged. "You can't even do a decent Silencing Charm? And here I thought you might kill me." She yawned. "Are you even going to do anything to me? Or was I beginning to worry for nothing?"

I turned around and slashed my wand down, purple flames flying towards her. It was a curse I'd learned from my father, but I apparently wasn't feeling malicious enough, as she looked unhurt.

"Are you kidding?" She threw her head back and laughed. "I've seen that curse in action before and that wasn't even close. Did you hit your head on the fountain or something? Because I'm seriously doubting your evil abilities."

My wand clattered to the floor.

She rose her eyebrows. "And what's this supposed to be?"

"No." I said.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not a mind reader. What's that supposed to mean?"

_What am I doing?_

"No, maybe I'm not."

She stared at me with flat out disbelief and then laughed. "Right. You're saying you aren't completely evil and don't want to kill me."

"Of course I want you dead." I said. "I'm just not going to be the one to do it."

"Charming." She said sarcastically. "You're evil but without the guts to be."

"I just saved your unworthy life." I snarled.

"If I'm unworthy of living why did you save it then?" She said evenly.

It occurred to me that I wasn't going to win this argument. I picked up my wand and thought about obliterating her. Then she wouldn't remember anything and hopefully it would be like none of this happened.

She raised her eyebrows. "Going to obliterate me?"

I smiled wanly. "You said you didn't read minds."

She shrugged. "Maybe not, but it was written all over your face. Let me guess, you've got a reputation to protect and showing mercy is showing weakness and failure, especially because I'm a worthless Mudblood. So now you're going to destroy any evidence that you were being close to nice and then tomorrow try and turn me into a chipmunk?"

I stared at her as she said those words. There was bitter humor in her tone, but she was close to being right.

_Don't listen to her, what does she know?_

I raised my wand and brought it down.

"_Relashio._"

* * *  
_Hermione_

I immediately grabbed my wand off the ground and ran out.

I had no idea what had just happened.

_No idea. _

It was so unlike me to have absolutely not a shred of a guess as to what was going on. I was completely confused and didn't know what to think. There were a million questions running through my head as I made my way back to the common room.

Why didn't he do anything to me? According to Harry, wouldn't he try to kill us?

Why did he let me go? If I was worthless, then I wasn't worth letting live.

And since I clearly _was _insignificant and unimportant, why did he "save" me?

I gave the Fat Lady the password and stepped into the common room, suddenly feeling tired and annoyed. Everything about today was going wrong, I felt confused, and not to mention still upset.

Unfortunately, everyone was still partying.

I groaned and collapsed into an empty seat.

"Hermione, where have you been?" Harry asked, passing me butterbeer. I set it down on the table without drinking it.

"Funny you should ask." I muttered.

"What?" He asked, over the loud voices.

Half the people were drunk, and Ron looked slightly intoxicated too. I looked past Harry's shoulder to see him dancing with a group of girls who were all making goo-goo eyes at him. Lavender was holding a glass of fluorescent pink, which I recognized as fire whisky mixed with probably some sort of shot.

"What's going on?" I asked, standing up.

"It's just your typical party." Harry said, taking a sip of butterbeer.

I frowned. "There didn't used to be drinking and… _that _kind of dancing."

Harry shrugged. "Fred and George used to plan all the parties and now they're gone. But we just won the match, relax and have a tart."

He passed the tray of pastries to me, but I put it down on the table with a loud clatter. A few people nearby who weren't stoned looked at me, including Selena, who nudged Lavender and whispered in her ear with a warning look. Lavender threw her head back, which actually tilted her entire body at a dangerous angle on her four inch tall platforms. I worried for a moment she might fall backwards and hit her head, or something, but she didn't.

She handed her drink to Selena, tossed her hair, and put on a seductive smile.

"Hey Ron." She said loudly.

Ron peeled himself away from Rhyinne Woods, a fierce fifth year, and turned to face her. There was a goofy smile plastered over his face and his eyes were glazed over. "Lav…venderrrr." His voice slurred.

"He's drunk!" I said.

"He only had one or two drinks." Harry said, unconcerned. "Looks like you could use at least the butterbeer." He put it back in my hands, and I was starting to wonder if he had a little too much to drink as well.

"Are you crazy?" I said, my wide gesture spilling butterbeer all over him.

I turned to walk towards Ron and see if there was something I could do before he did something stupid or hurt himself.

Then it happened.

Lavender did her model catwalk—and she must have been practicing, because it looked better than it did before, and with her confidence and smile she actually looked a bit like a model—towards Ron. Then she grabbed the front of his shirt and smashed her lips against his. This caused a roar of applause and cheering. The girls all gushed and gasped and ooh'd and aah'd. Ron put one hand on her hip and other on the small of her back and leaned forward. She clung onto him.

All the girls in my dorm turned to look at me with superior expressions. They seemed to say _we won and we have Ron, what do you have to say now? _

The whole room then stopped to stare at me. The music was still playing loudly, and a good amount of people were still drunk, but the attention was all on me. Ron and Lavender pulled apart to look at me too. I didn't know how the attention focus had suddenly switched from the new school couple to me, who no one really ever talked to, but they definitely expected me to say something stupid or do something drastic. They wanted to see me fall.

Well, I'm supposed to fall with grace and not from.

I calmly set the glass of butterbeer down on the table and said, "Congratulations, Ron, Lavender. It's cute to see you two together."

Then I sat down and grabbed a strawberry tart off the platter next to the glass and turned to an extremely confused looking Harry.

This seemed good enough for the others, who, as quickly as they had stopped, turned up the music even louder, and resumed their partying.

"What was that?" Harry asked.

I shrugged and popped the rest of the tart into my mouth, and just to pacify him, took a small sip of butterbeer.

"I think I'm going to go, this doesn't seem like the right party for me."

I stood up again and left the common room, leaving the million tiny pieces of my heart on the floor of the common room.

I figured no one would bother to pick them up.

**_Hope you liked it ^^ Don't forget to review!_**


	4. Enmity and Mercy

**_Hey! I want to thank Kayla since you always have awesome reviews, Kaleigh for giving the story a chance, and tat 1312 for reviewing._**

_Hermione_

Last summer:

_I couldn't take myself away from him, and I knew he felt the same._

_Then suddenly Ron seemed to finger the knot on my swimsuit top._

"_Oh my god!" I screamed, unsticking myself from him._

_I summoned all my strength, which was increased by the intensity of our energies and pushed him away. He stumbled, back, looking innocently bewildered._

"_Who do you—What the hell was that about?" I demanded, reaching to make sure the knot was still tight and in place. It was. _

"_I don't… what are you talking about?" Ron asked, his eyebrows knotting together in confusion._

"_Don't pretend you don't know!" I screeched, pulling my shirt and shorts on._

"_I don't! I have no idea what you're talking about!" He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Talk to me, what's going on?"_

"_DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screamed, my voice echoing in the forest. _

"_Will you please just tell me what this is all about?" He asked. "Because one minute we're fine and the next you're—"_

_My mouth fell open. After what he did, he had the nerve to say this was all my fault?_

_I uncurled my fingers from the tight fist they were clenched in and using all my strength, smacked him in the face, causing his neck to snap back. _

_My hand was stinging, but it somehow felt detached from me. I didn't care._

_Without a word, I slung my back on my shoulder, tossed my wet hair in his face, and took off down the path we had come along to get here._

* * *

The next morning I was the first person awake.

This was clearly due to the hangovers all the girls in my dorm had from a few (or in Lavender's case, several) too many drinks from yesterday's all-the-way-until-dawn party. I doubted that anyone in Gryffindor was going to be able to stay awake in class today or feel alright because the only person who hadn't gotten less than four hours of sleep or had any drinks was me.

I was starting to miss Fred and George, because even though they liked to throw giant parties, at least they never had alcohol and they were so loud that Professor McGonagall stopped them by one in the morning. But this time, everyone was drunk and making a fool of themselves, so no one wanted to deal with it. Can't say I blame them.

Of course, I was going to have a little fun with this.

Pulling apart all the curtains in the room to let the sunshine pour in, I wrenched open the hangings of the girls' beds and said in a high-pitched voice as loudly and obnoxiously (just like Lavender) as I could, "Rise and shine! It's only six!"

There was no need to get up at six since breakfast was at seven thirty, but the girls in my dorm always woke up around five to prep.

Everyone moaned and groaned and complained about headaches, but I didn't think either of them would be able to actually get up and close the curtains to block the light, but that wasn't my problem now, was it? Smiling, I quickly dressed and got my stuff together while the girls tried to go back to sleep, but I doubted anyone, even with a headache, would dare miss the giant test we had in Transfiguration today, even if we were celebrating a victory.

I even laughed when I saw the look on Lavender's face. Her eyes were bloodshot and had dark bags around them, hair tangled and dirty, not to mention she probably had a horrible headache and wouldn't be able to go to the hospital wing because Madam Pomfrey would instantly give her detention for drinking.

I felt slightly better about last night as I left the girls' dorms.

Slightly, but not completely.

Last night after witnessing Lavender and Ron's spontaneous kiss, I ran out the common room and to a certain staircase that no one used because it led to a hallway with a dead end. That was where I always went when I was upset, because I knew no one would bother me. Usually when I'm upset, I try to stay collected until I can get away from everyone and then I just let myself go.

I'm not the kind of person who needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to hug. I let myself go, but I don't completely lose myself. When I'm by myself, I have more control over my feelings than I do when I'm with other people. It's kind of a sad thing to admit, because that's the disposition of a lonely person, but whether I like it or not, I am lonely. I'm more alone than anyone would ever know.

There's a difference between being lonely and being alone. Being alone is the physical state of the person, and being lonely is a mental state of being. So you can be lonely even if you have a huge crowd of friends, but you can be alone without feeling lonely. Most people only suffer from one, and a lot of times it doesn't bother them because you can hide. Most people either don't have someone by their side or feel like they have no one to confide in. But always, _always_, there's a person who is both.

And that unlucky person is me.

Like it or not, I know I am, and I think I know that no one else is. People don't realize how lucky they are. No one realizes what they have until they don't have it anymore.

That person used to be me.

I used to be the person to have everything that could make someone happy and not want it. I guess the consequences to that are to have everything you've ever known but left unappreciated, slowly disappear. No one really understands what it's like, because usually they don't realize it until everything is gone.

It's better that way.

It's better not to know anything.

* * *  
_Ginny_

I had been awake since five this morning, lying in my bed with the hangings closed, staring at the ceiling while my roommates slept soundly.

Usually they would be up by this time, curling their hair and putting on their faces, but not me.

The funny thing is, today everyone's roles are reversed. Instead of being the person who gets up ten minutes before breakfast and throws on my clothes before heading to breakfast, I stayed in my bed, fully awake, thinking about my life. Thinking about what it means to be me and why I'm the person I am.

They say that everything happens for a reason, that everyone's placed in this world for a purpose, that everyone belongs _to _someone.

But has anyone ever wondered to themselves the answers to those questions? _What _is the reason for all the pain, lies, regret, and loneliness in this cold world? _Why _was I placed on this world if all I was ever to do is be hurt? _Who _is that person that I belong to? And have they ever realized that there seems to be no answer? That the reason for the terrible things that happen just doesn't seem to exist? That the role I play in this world doesn't seem to be there? That the person I thought I was destined to be with, doesn't want me?

Or is it just me?

Strangely enough, I did feel like it was just me.

Because even though I know the answers to all these questions, I just can't seem to place myself into that right frame of mind to accept it as the solution to my problems. When I think of the things people say in regard to questions like the ones I asked, it feels as if they don't understand what's going on. I know I'm nothing special, and my life isn't original, it's been written out dozens of times.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to take myself and pretend, just for a moment, that I'm someone else.

I wouldn't have to feel like I'm living up to an image that's already been drawn out and perfected. I could be my own person instead of what other people have already imagined me to be. I could have my own identity and not just be a Weasley with red hair and freckles. Is that something that I shouldn't want? Is that something that anyone should be denied? Is simply _being _a person something I can't ever have?

Sometimes that all goes away and I don't wonder what it feels like.

But if I'm a size eight sneaker girl walking in size five heels, the dream has to stop at some point, because sometimes it's too painful to be someone else, even more so than being yourself.

* * *  
_Draco_

I couldn't go back to the common room or my dorm.

There was too much on my mind and I know only too well that it won't go away.

My life doesn't work like that. I can't just set aside my problems and then know sometime later events will occur that cause my problems to work themselves out. I can't just cram second, third, fourth voices in my head to the back of my mind and concentrate just on that first one, because at some point they'll take over me.

I wandered around forbidden parts of the castle, thinking.

_Why did I let her go?_

_Why couldn't I do it?_

_Am I weak? _

_Am I a failure?_

_Is this really what I was placed in the world to do?_

_Is there anything I can do that compromises?_

Question after question came into my mind, and none of them had answers to them. There was little that I did know, and what I did didn't help me. I was lost, and every time I tried to find the way out, I would just get lost again. I would lose another piece of who I am to what I was being forced to be.

My voice, the one that asked these questions and argued with the others, was fading, and something else was taking over. The one that was taking me bit by bit, so slowly, but so surely. The one that right now was causing me even more pain and anguish.

_You know your mission. Kill him, who cares about Dumbledore, the old fool? Kill her, in fact, you should have more fun with it, torture her a little, no one would miss a worthless little Mudblood. _

_What are you waiting for?_

_Don't you want to serve the Dark Lord? The greatest wizard of all time? The all powerful one? _

_He's giving you a mission, he's given you a job, entrusted you with great responsibility. It's an honor to serve him and you're screwing it up._

_Didn't you say you wanted a purpose to live?_

_Didn't you agree to this?_

_Don't you want to live?_

It scared me that part of my mind would think thoughts like this. It also scared me that I was afraid of something that apparently should have been embracing with honor and on my knees with gratitude. It scared me that my father's voice was taking over my own. That my father's sin was now my burden. That I was enslaved in the name of clearing my father's debt.

I didn't care for my father, he had never acted like one. I didn't want his voice speaking in my mind, didn't want his crime to be my problem, didn't want his responsibility to become my mission.

The only thing that possibly scared me more, was the alternative. I felt like my whole life was a lie and I was now being forced to walk blindfolded to my death, or open my eyes to battle the horror. A part of me was contemplating the sword and armor. Part of me already knew that I couldn't do it.

I just wanted to prove it wrong. I didn't think that I was so weak all I could do was run away from challenge. I'm not a coward.

_You can't kill them. It's not like you. It's not in you._

_You aren't like this. Don't you know that? You're capable of being so much more, so much better._

_Wouldn't it be better that way?_

_Can't you see it?_

_You could walk away from all of this. Just turn your back and start all over again. It's not yet too late._

_Not if you don't wait until it is._

I felt like my own body was being invaded. As comforting as the thoughts my mother's voice seemed to be saying, I knew they weren't true. I can't walk away from a lifetime that's already been signed under contract.

I know I can't complete the mission. I also know that I have to. I have to prove that voice wrong.

Even if it means I'm doing more than killing two people, I'm killing part of myself.

* * *  
_Ron_

I can't say I'm proud of what I did.

When I look back on that day, I realize that if I could change anything I would have changed everything.

I wouldn't have let my pride get in the way and push Hermione away, because it was really because of her that I was even on the team. I wouldn't have let myself drink until I couldn't think straight or remember anything I did. I wouldn't have let myself kiss Lavender when I didn't care for her, didn't love her, didn't really feel anything towards her.

Not anything like the way I felt with Hermione.

I didn't exactly remember the kissing or the drinking or the part where I passed out on the floor, but I remember someone gently shaking me by the shoulders. I remembered a light and fresh fruity smell that made my mind wake up. I heard her telling me to wake up and shaking me a little more.

"Ron… Ron… it's me, Hermione."

At the mention of our names, I managed to open my eyes, only to close them again and groan.

"Oh, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "Thank god you're okay, I was afraid you might have done something stupid."

Something stupid? Already did.

I was in agony. My head was throbbing, the kind of pounding that feels like elephants are stampeding in your head and it's pulsing and expanding in a way that just hurts like hell. On top of the worst headache ever, seeing light made everything worse and even though her voice was comforting, sound was making the ache worse too.

Hermione dragged me into a sitting position against the bed, but apparently I was heavy and she rested her head on the foot of the bed next to mine, breathing heavily. "You're such an idiot. Why did you drink so much? You could've hurt yourself."

"You were worried?" I managed to say.

She slammed her fist into my chest, her punch surprisingly strong. "Are you _still _intoxicated?" She snapped.

I smiled, despite everything. "I think you were definitely worried."

Hermione shoved me back on the floor and then sat on Harry's bed, where he was sprawled, half on, half off. She pushed him onto it, and I was disappointed to see that she had to make an effort. It meant he had grown even more muscle. She shook his shoulders the way she did mine.

"Harry? Harry? It's me, come on, wake up."

Harry opened his eyes and sat up. Immediately he groaned and held a hand to his head.

"Hermione?"

I wondered if his skin was tingling where her fingers made contact. Did his mind suddenly wake up, but then fall into some sort of trance when he breathed in her fresh fruity smell?

"How do you feel?" She asked.

Harry leaned his head against the wall. "I'm sorry."

Hermione laughed. "You should be. I thought you two knew better than to get drunk and have to take the Transfiguration test on a hangover."

Harry groaned and his head rolled onto Hermione's shoulder. "I'm such an idiot. I should've listened to you."

Instead of shoving _him _away, she gave him a sideways hug. "Of course you should've." She turned to me. "You two better get ready, breakfast started five minutes ago. I'll meet you guys in Charms and see if I can find something for you."

I collapsed on the floor again, I didn't think I could get up, much less go to Charms or take a Transfiguration test.

"Come on, we better get going." Harry sat up and winced before grabbing random clothes.

"Are you kidding me?" I managed to push myself up, but I didn't want to think about anything.

He shrugged, "She's going to be mad if you don't." He sighed. "Hermione, she's something isn't she?"

Of course she is, but I couldn't help wondering what he meant by that.

* * *  
_Hermione_

The Gryffindor table was half empty, which was causing some alarm among the professors, but they didn't question me as I made my way through the crowded Great Hall.

Almost none of the fourth years and above were present except for me, Ginny, Neville, and a few other people with no lives.

"Morning! See you haven't been brainwashed by alcohol." Ginny said cheerfully.

"The other girls in my dorm were." I said. "It was particularly fun waking them up at six for no reason at all."

Ginny laughed.

"So… um," She looked around and finished with a whisper, "Are you okay? I mean, after yesterday?"

"Oh. That." I busied myself picking some of every kind of fruit. I needed something to do so I could keep my thoughts in line. "Well, it's kind of upsetting, and it hurt at first, but I can't change his mind and I don't think I should try to."

Ginny looked halfway convinced but partly skeptical. "Oh. Okay, just making sure, because I'd be upset if I were you. I mean even though my brother happens to be an idiot. Who would go for Lavender when you're there? You're so much prettier than her! And she's such an airhead!"

I wondered what Ginny meant by me being prettier than her. One thing I will admit is that even though Lavender always had an upturned nose as if nothing was good enough for her and the most annoying voice ever, she was sort of pretty. She had gold blond hair naturally streaked by brown so that it wasn't exactly dishwater blond, but just highlighted. Her face wasn't exactly exquisite or beautiful, but the way she acted made a lot of guys like her.

"Well I probably won't be seeing her for today since I doubt she can get out of bed, so I'm pretty happy for that." I ate a nice sweet and tart slice of kiwi and hoped that this conversation could be over so I wouldn't be reliving a horrible moment over a nice breakfast.

"Wow." Ginny forked her eggs. "I can't believe how well you're dealing with it. I'd be wrecked if the person I loved was kissing someone else, even if they were drunk."

I thought about the way I was actually worried about Ron and for a moment, even Lavender. Then I thought about Harry, for a moment, and wondered what happened after I left, because even though he seemed too relaxed, I didn't think that was enough drinking to give him the kind of headache he had when I saw him. He looked like he was really hurting.

"I don't know if you realize this," I said, looking at Ginny very seriously, "but you're doing the same thing to Harry every time you're with Dean. It hurts him, and I don't know why you're doing this to him."

Ginny flushed red. "I… I… I don't know what you're talking about." She said, her voice shaking.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's not talk about this." Ginny said quickly, a little too quickly.

"I thought you loved him." I said. "Didn't you tell me what this summer? That you loved him? Why are you hurting him?"

Her fork clattered onto her plate loudly. She grabbed her bag and ran out of the Great Hall, but not before I saw her crying.

I felt bad, really bad, because I had taken her guilt, her sorrow, her regrets, and her love, and turned it against her. It was really, one of the worst things someone can do, but I had to do it, because I knew that she loved him, and he loved her. She didn't realize that this wasn't for me, it was for her.

* * *  
_Draco_

I watched her pick up her things and walk out of the Great Hall.

She looked like she was fine, and her actions looked calm and deliberate, but I recognized the awkward aura that was emanating. People were feeling the need to hurriedly reconstruct their conversations for no particular reason. There was a strange coolness in the air that made it feel as though it was about to rain on them. Inside your chest, there was a short moment where you feel like something cold just touched you and for a moment you shiver.

I recognized that feeling.

She just did something that was incredibly difficult, something that would hurt someone else, but for their own good.

I had seen that before, and for some reason, it compelled me to grab my things and walk out of the Great Hall.

_What am I doing? Why am I following her? Did I just relate to her? _

Questions were running through my head and I wondered what in the world I was doing. Sure, she just hurt someone, I'd done that plenty of times before, and without guilt, even. So why was I so fascinated by what she just did? It was the same thing I do, except with good intention. Well, I know that I'm not the kind of person to do that, so why do I care?

I suppose it was because she reminded me of someone.

She stepped onto the platform to wait for her staircase. In a few seconds, it came swinging by and stopped.

"Wait, Granger." I almost didn't recognize my own voice.

She stopped for a moment, but not to wait for me, it was the kind of stopping you do when you realize something odd just happened.

I realized something too.

She had the option to turn around and talk to me, or leave.

I had the option to make her listen, let her go if she chose to, or take this chance to kill her.

_Don't screw it up this time, _the rough voice that sounded like my father growled.

My heart started pounding, because whenever I felt the influence of my father upon me, I realized that these were always points where I was either deep in thought, or about to make a big decision. These were always the parts where I was supposed to make the _right _decision. This is where I will surrender, whether willingly, unwillingly, knowingly, unknowingly, purposely, or unpurposely, I will surrender a piece of myself.

Sometimes without feeling until it's been done, I will realize that I feel empty, I feel slightly broken. There will be a hollow feeling in my chest, where I realize that my heart is supposed to be. I will feel as though I can't feel my own pulse, as if I'm not really me anymore, but just a figment of my father's control. I will stop gaining conscious thought for the rest of the day, stop being able to let my own voice question the things I'm doing, stop hearing, even faintly, the voice that sounds like my mom, telling me to change.

I have a choice right now to kill her.

But that's not the case.

Right now, she's not at my mercy to be spared, rather, I am in her control. Her decision will be what decides the choice that I choose.

She has the power over me, and what she chooses could possibly save her and save me.

**_I hope I didn't completely lose everyone with all that feelings talk. And I hope that the sections with Draco actually make sense, because it's a little hard to write him._**

**_Well, love it, like it, hate it, let me know... in a REVIEW. Don't forget :D_**


	5. Memories and Scenes

**_Thanks tat1312 and Amy for reviewing ^^ but I'm kinda starting to think either my writing really sucks or there's something wrong with the review thingy... _**

**_I added in a side Harry/Ginny to the story because Harry sort of becomes important later on. *hint* *wink*_**

_Ron_

Last summer:

_I couldn't remember what I did wrong._

_As I submerged myself in the icy water underneath the rushing waterfall, I saw everything replay before me as water rushed into my lungs through my mouth and nose. The first time I did this it scared me, the cold water that numbed my skin and lacerated through my body. But fourth, fifth, sixth time it was alright. I started liking it even, I felt like an insignificant droplet of water in the river and that was almost better than the truth._

_I held my hand out in front of me and my fingers tingled from the feeling they had when they made contact with her skin. Hot from the sun, the water sticking to her. I ran my fingers through my hair and thought of her fingers, working their way through my hair, knotting it and untangling it in different places. When I closed my eyes I could feel her lips, when they gently made contact on my skin and then when I touched mine to hers._

_I broke the surface of the water and stepped out. The sun was setting on the distant horizon beyond the mountains and valleys. Tomorrow would be my last day for her before Harry came. I had never dreaded seeing him before._

_But I did tonight._

"_So did you have fun?" Ginny asked innocently, at the dinner table._

_I looked down at my plate and mumbled a lie. Ginny tilted her head in Hermione's direction. Hermione pursed her lips asked my mom to pass the peas. Since the plate was closer to me and my mom had a short reach, I picked up the plate and passed it over to her. She looked down at the table, murmured thank you, and then set the plate back down with a faint never mind. _

_My parents looked at each other and exchanged awkward glances before starting random small talk. _

_How were her parents?_

_Fine._

_Was she looking forward to returning to Hogwarts?_

_Yes, very much._

_Had she heard from Harry in the last few days?_

_Yes, he'd written to her twice._

"_He's coming in a few days." My mom said pleasantly, pouring her more water._

_Hermione smiled. "I know. I'm glad for that."_

_I excused myself from the dinner table._

* * *  
_Hermione_

"Wait, Granger."

I knew that voice all too well. After all, hadn't it spent a good amount of time taunting me?

I wondered if I should turn around and hex him, doing so would certainly unleash the pent up feelings left over from last night's party. I doubted he had anything important to say, and I didn't want to listen to his ranting about how I was an unworthy Mudblood, not after the sour feeling breakfast had left. Of course, the smart option would be to run away and pretend I never heard him, but I wasn't going to do that.

Part of me was curious what he wanted to say, if that was even what he wanted. Maybe he just wanted enough time to finally obliterate me, or maybe he finally plucked up the courage to curse me, although I highly doubted the last one. Somehow, I knew that he didn't have it in him to kill. Knowing that brought me back to our last encounter and how he had released me. He hadn't cursed me, obliterated me, killed me, or even hurt me in any way.

He let me go, and as much as it didn't make sense to say, I suppose I owed him for that. Listening to what he had to say was something all too simple to do and I felt obligated to do it.

I turned around. "Have you made up your mind about obliterating me? Or have you plucked up some courage and plan to do some real damage? Although I hardly call that courageous."

I saw a series of strange conflicted expressions shadow his face and wondered what was happening inside his mind. What was he thinking, if he could? Part of me was imagining the comical devil on his right shoulder and angel on his left shoulder arguing with him. I doubted there was much of a good side of him, and even if there was, it existed only in a sliver. As far as I knew, his heart, if he had one, was black as coal.

I sighed. To think that I had just a spark of hope for him.

"Well, I see you're still deciding what curse works best on me. Maybe I'll duel you later." I stepped onto the staircase, which had politely waited for me, and it swung over to the next platform.

Just before entering the hallway, I stopped and turned back, curious.

He was standing in the exact same spot as before. I now saw that he didn't even have his wand drawn out, which meant he had no intention of hurting me. This confused me even more, because there had never been an instance where I saw him without his wand drawn out, ready to give me everything he had. I furrowed my eyebrows when I saw the strangest gesture. As he turned back, I saw him wince slightly and his hand reached to the spot on his chest right where his heart would be.

Maybe he really did have one.

* * *  
_Ginny_

It's impossible to be more boring than Professor Binns. Every class he floats out from the chalkboard and drones on and on, not paying attention to what's going on in class. If someone had lit me on fire he wouldn't notice it and would have continued on with the history of giant wars without stopping once.

Normally this is a bad thing, but when you're sitting in the back of the room bawling your eyes out and not even bothering to pay attention, being in his class has its perks.

I knew Hermione only said what she did because she cared about me and Harry, but she didn't understand.

She didn't understand that he sees me as a sister and not as someone he's in love with. I could never be in the kind of relationship where you pretend that you like him only as a friend when deep inside you are crumbling into a million little pieces. That's the only reason that I haven't talked to Harry since the summer and I'm still going out with Dean.

I know it's not right to be going out with Dean when I don't even care for him, but he's not really a good boyfriend anyways. My friends have caught him in broom cupboards with other girls and we almost never get along because he happens to think that all girls are helpless damsels in distress. Someday I'd like to kick his ass and see who's in distress then.

I guess I was with Dean because I had this crazy idea that maybe Harry would see me with him and realize that he did want me. Maybe his hero-out-to-save-the-day instinct would make him rescue me from this horrible relationship and he'd be my knight on a white horse. It was silly to hope for that, and I knew it would never happen, but I clung onto the tiny sliver hope I had for Harry, for me.

As I gathered my things together after class ended, I realized that foolish fantasies would get me nowhere, but right now I just needed something to believe in. If I could believe Dean would get me Harry, I would use Dean. I would do anything for Harry, and pretending to go out with his idiot roommate was a good enough start.

"Hey."

I picked up my bag and looked up. "Hey."

"You looked pretty upset this morning." Harry said. "Everything okay?"

_No, not exactly._

"Yeah." I said, pushing my chair back in. I let him hold open the door for me. "It's nothing, really."

"You sure?" He asked, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking at me with his amazing green eyes.

_Well actually…_

"Yeah, I'm sure." I said, as we descended the stairs. "Race you down?"

He put his hand behind his neck and looked kind of lost, which was cute on him and I could tell he was about to say something, so I slowed down. "Well, actually there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Resisting the urge to smile, because I hoped this was what I had been waiting for all along, I said, "Shoot."

"I just wanted to say, Ginny, you're—"

"Hey Gin." Dean appeared out of seemingly nowhere and slipped his arm around my waist.

I turned away from both of them so they wouldn't see the look of utter disappointment on my face.

"Hey Dean."

"Well, I better get going to Herbology." Harry said, looking apologetically at Dean and without sparing me a second glance, before leaving.

* * *  
_Draco_

The whole day I couldn't shake the image of her out of my head.

I wasn't sure why, but there was something about her that always made me feel conflicted.

I couldn't stand it, because before all of this I always knew what I was going to do, always knew what to say, and never had to second guess myself or think twice about what I was doing. There wasn't any argument within myself about why I was doing something. It never occurred to me to care about the life of someone irrelevant in my life and unworthy of living. I've never even felt moved by the things people do before.

I needed answers, and somehow I felt like there was something she would tell me. Every time I encountered her, there was something about me that she revealed.

I left Potions and set off towards the library, where else was I supposed to look for a know-it-all Mudblood? On my way, I passed by the classroom where Ancient Runes was, and stopped.

There she was, sitting at the teacher's desk in the empty room, conjuring apples.

I cautiously stepped into the room and closed the door so no one would see us.

She stood up and pointed her wand at me. "Don't move."

I let my bag slide off my shoulder and held up my arms to show her I was empty-handed.

"What are you doing?" Her wand lowered an inch or so.

"There's… something I want to ask you."

She scoffed. "What could you possibly need from me, other than my memory removed?"

I clenched my teeth. She brought that up every time as some sort of taunting joke, but she didn't understand how real this was. "You don't understand."

"I understand that you're evil. You're whole family is evil, you worship evil, you live, breathe, and are evil. You and your friend, your family are all just a bunch of cruel and cold-blooded followers with no mind of your own and no heart. You're twisted and hateful. There's nothing inside of you except bloodlust and hatred."

I swallowed hard. The way she spoke, the words she used, made me hate myself. "I'm not like that."

"Oh right." She said sarcastically. "Because you saved my life? Or so you think."

"See, you _don't _get it. You've never had your parents paint an image of you they had already perfected and imagined. You were never forced to be something to the point that you unknowingly became something you didn't want to be. You've never lived in fear of _losing your life_."

She looked at me with a mixture of horror and fear. I was reminded of those weaknesses I was never allowed to show, compassion, mercy, love, fear, regret.

"I've also never lived off of someone else's pain and fears." She replied bitterly.

I felt somewhere in the back of my mind, unwanted memories triggering to life. Things I never wanted to see again, words I never wanted to hear again, scenes unfolding that I hoped to forget. To never remember in my lifetime.

"You've never been that person whose hurt and despair was the other's lifeline."

"I am for you." She said venomously.

There was a strange pulsing shock in my chest, the same as the one I felt this morning when she walked away.

"So now you understand."

She picked up her things. "I understand this is going nowhere. To think that I held hope you could be different."

I couldn't explain why I felt a kind of searing pain in my chest when she said this, but I reached out to stop her. "I'm trying to show you that I am."

"I don't believe it." She said, pushing my hand away.

I couldn't let her go, I don't know why. It wasn't an affinitive attraction I had to her, it wasn't the desperate need for her help, it was just the fact that maybe, strangely enough, she could save me from myself.

"When I was six my dad used the Cruciatus Curse on me." I said, letting my hand drop to my side. "He didn't stop until I was unconscious and couldn't scream."

Her footsteps stopped.

"I've known who I was supposed to be my whole life. My dad and my aunt would tell me that someday I could serve my purpose in this world by serving the greatest wizard of all time. I was drilled to perfection, broken until all that was left was what they wanted. I thought it was what I wanted too. I've always been living in the shadows of what others wanted me to be. I didn't realize that maybe it wasn't the only choice for me.

But it's too late for me anyways. My life has been contracted in the name of my father and written out for me already. Do you know what my mission is? Do you know that my life, my family's lives, depend on me? You think that I should just walk away from it and sacrifice myself to be noble right? I would let my father rot if it were up to me, but my mother's life is important to me.

Do you know what the price of our lives is? Do you?"

I turned around. She was staring at me with her mouth open.

"It's your life." I looked right back at her, staring into the depths of her eyes until I could see the light of realization.

She trembled, but she fixed her eyes on me with a steely stare and said cooly, "Really?"

"Yours and Dumbledore's. A life for a life."

She looked away from me and crossed her arms, either unwilling to believe the truth or reluctant to believe me. Maybe both. "Why are you telling me all this? I won't help you kill anyone. I don't want to help you save your mother."

"I know you don't. But I do, without her I'd have been dead long ago and better for you. What I'm saying is that I know I can't do it, but I will have to. I'm going to find a way."

"So this is your warning." She said quietly with a hard edge to it. I couldn't believe I was thinking such things, but I was coming to admire that in her. "You're telling me that even if you didn't do it before, haven't done it now, you're going to at some point."

"No, it's not like that." I told her. "What I'm saying, is that I'm not who you think I am. If you have a way that saves both of us, I'll do anything."

She laughed bitterly. "You expect me to believe that you would do anything to save two lives?" She shook her head with disbelief and turned on her heel.

The door slammed behind her.

"What is it going to take for you to believe me?" I said to the empty space where she once was.

**_Like it, hate it, love it, REVIEW!_**

**_Let me know what you think of the characters and your favorite line :)_**


	6. Sins and Morals

**_Thanks tat1312, Kaleigh, and Kayla for reviewing every single chapter!_**

**_This chapter was kind of hard to write because I feel like Draco's been kind of repetitive, but this chapter's going to change things._**

_Hermione_

Last summer:

_The next morning I went downstairs for breakfast and arrived to hear good news._

"_There's a letter for you." Mrs. Weasley said, smiling. "It's from Harry."_

"_Really?" I looked hopefully and sure enough, Hedwig was on the table looking at me with big amber eyes. "Hey Hedwig." I gave her a tentative pat on the head and then untied the letter on her leg. "I'll be right down, let me just read this first." I said, heading up the stairs._

_Mrs. Weasley smiled at me in a knowing way. Well, if only she did know the truth. I wondered if she would think of me the same way if she knew that I was in love with Ron. Or if she would like me all the same if she knew what had happened yesterday. Would she agree with me or defend Ron? _

_I shook these questions off and sat on the top of the second flight of stairs to read Harry's letter._

Dear Hermione,

I'm glad to hear that you and Ron are doing well. I just got a letter from Dumbledore and he says he'll be taking me to the Burrow tomorrow. I miss you and can't wait to see you and Ron.

Harry

_I smiled at the letter, glad to know Harry was alright. I realized that yesterday I was perfectly content with being without him, but after what happened I realized that with him here everything would stop being awkward. I'd stop hearing Mr. and Mrs. Weasley hint at me liking Harry. Most importantly, I'd stop having to see the hurt and confused looks from Ron, because every time I saw that look on his face, I felt like something had just pierced through my heart._

_But the one thing I did know was that I couldn't go on ignoring him and moving in a tandem around him while trying to avoid facing him. _

_Every time I saw him, I could sense a mixed feeling of regret, confusion, and hurt coming from him. I realized that maybe he really didn't know what he did wrong, because maybe he didn't do anything and I had misunderstood. I knew that beyond the romantic feelings that we shared, even deeper ran our friendship, and I couldn't lose that. I couldn't be without Ron, even if he was just my friend._

_Right now, I had him as neither, and it was killing me. I couldn't do it anymore. After only half a day, guilt was starting to tear me into pieces. Ron's pain was real, and it was tangible, I could feel it. He couldn't lie to himself about something like this and I knew that I had to be honest with myself too. Obviously he never did anything wrong and I had misinterpreted his actions. _

_I couldn't leave him hanging off a cliff or he'd hurt himself even more, especially when he didn't do anything wrong. Even if he did—which part of me still wanted to believe, because I hate being wrong—I had to forgive him. It was a simple as that. Clearly, he felt regret, and that was enough. Because to regret something, you admit that you did something wrong, and that was one of the hardest things to do. And if someone admits they were wrong, don't you give them another chance?_

_I heard a door close and knew it was Ron. The sound of his footsteps came closer and closer._

_Was right now the time?_

* * *

Of all my classes the only one I hate is Potions.

It happens to be the only class I'm not the best at, and you know us perfectionists, if you're not number one you're not anything.

Professor Slughorn, while nice, can be quite annoying in the way he talks and openly favors Harry.

Oh, and heaven forbid I forget, it's also the only class I have with a certain Draco Malfoy.

Well during what would have been the worst possible Potions class in the history of torturous classes, the whole class was running around trying to find ingredients for Delphinium Draught. We had two hours, since it was a double period, to try and make our potions perfect.

Professor Slughorn sat at his desk eating crystallized pineapple with a big grin on his face, most likely thinking thoughts along the lines of: _Delphinium Draught, a lethal poison, should be no problem. They're not going to accidentally poison themselves or accidentally-on-purpose poison others. No one should be running around the class in hysterics trying to find the ingredients which, are not legally banned from schools. Oh, and I can't wait to see what Harry's up to once I finish this box of overly artificially sugared candy._

Sometimes I had to wonder what in the world qualified that man to be a professor.

The _whole _class was running around the class trying to find the ingredients to complete the steps, but since most of them weren't really supposed to be used in a class, no one had gotten past the quarter way point. Oh, but except for Harry and Draco.

Big surprise.

I threw open one of the cupboards and found a box labeled _Hollisander Extract _and opened it. To my dismay, the little vials were empty and looking at the clock, I realized that I had wasted twenty minutes. Cursing, I shoved the box back into the cupboard and decided to just steal some of Harry's.

As I made my way back, feverishly frustrated and not watching where I was going, I slammed right into Draco, who to my surprise, walked right past me without a single insult or dirty look. Despite everything, I stood frozen in place, staring at the empty space he had walked through a moment ago, completely confused. Never before, in the time I had been in this school, had he ever relinquished a chance to try and make me feel inferior.

When I finally shook my head clear and walked back to my table, I realized there was a tiny glass vial in my hand.

My face flushing even redder, I emptied the clear liquid into my cauldron with shaking hands, and consulted the book for the next set of instructions, which called for three leaves of palm fronds.

_What? Palm fronds don't _have _leaves! They have fronds, obviously._

Close to screaming with frustration, I made myself calm down and quickly looked at the ingredients next to Harry's table and grabbed three green pieces that looked like mutated crosses between fronds, leaves, and thorns and threw them into the cauldron and stirred. I followed the book instructions for the next three steps, then flipped the page and read the next line of directions, which made me want to throw the book into my cauldron, for all the help it gave.

Where in the world was I to find the sap of liquid amber? Wasn't amber a kind of rock? And wasn't sap only from trees?

I shoved my book off the table in frustration and a scrap of paper floated up onto the desk next to me.

_Sap of liquid amber is in the lower left corner of the second cupboard._

Not really caring who had written the note, I dashed off to the second cupboard and grabbed the vial and emptied it into my cauldron. The contents inside immediately turned the pale blue the book described. I looked around and realized the only other person who had progressed this far was none other than Draco.

Frustration flared in me again. I didn't _need _help. I don't. I can do everything by myself and take care of it all perfectly fine on my own. I've never relied on anyone for anything before and I wasn't about to start with him. Especially not him. I didn't want him to guilt me into helping him against my will. I didn't want to owe him anything.

My zealous anger fueled me to complete the instructions on the next two pages without help from Draco or stealing Harry's ingredients.

The last step required me to add the most important ingredient, six petals of Delphinium.

I found this in an incorrectly labeled box and finished the potion with a feeling of satisfaction. I couldn't help but give Draco a look that said _I don't want you or need you. _

Because I didn't and I was never going to let myself.

* * *  
_Ginny_

"I thought about it." I told Hermione at lunch.

Hermione put her fork down and looked at me curiously, as if to ask _did you? _She was good at that. Expression. She could let you know how she felt by what was written on her face, although she hardly did that, only with me. She could completely shut down and conceal every emotion she felt. Unlike me.

"I really did." I continued. "And it's just so complicated. You don't even scratch the surface of it."

She raised her eyebrows. "Tell me, then."

"I just told you, it's complicated." I repeated.

"I bet I can untangle it for you." She said wryly. "You don't really like Dean, you're just trying to make Harry jealous, which, by the way, is working pretty well. You think Harry doesn't love you and maybe if you went out with his roommate he'd notice you just a little more."

I swayed from side to side nervously. Hermione was good at analyzing relationships, but it always felt weird to me. "Maybe…"

"What you don't know is that Harry is too nice to ruin a relationship he thinks you're perfectly happy in. It might make him frustrated to see you together, it might hurt him when he sees you and knows you're with Dean, and it might just tear him apart inside, but he'll never come right out and tell you. Harry's not like that."

I frowned and thought about yesterday. "Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked.

"You have to need him." She said simply.

"But I already do need him!" Was that not obvious?

Hermione shook her head. "Not like that. Harry's got a heroic instinct in him and if you need him, he'll be there. But he doesn't know that you love him. He doesn't know that you don't really want this relationship with Dean. If you want him to rescue you from the relationship, then something has to happen that makes him realize you need saving."

I scowled. What _is _it with guys and all this need for damn-sels in distress? Why can't Harry just see that I'm in love with him and want him _now_? That I need him _now_? "I don't want to act like I'm just a pathetic helpless girl. Because I'm not."

"Oh I know, and I get that. He knows it too. I don't mean that you have to make yourself a pitiful sight, you just have to let him know that you love him, you need to be with him."

I sighed. "Hermione, I know you're trying to help, but it's not making any sense to me. I've made it as clear as I can that I love him and I need him. I think maybe you're the one who's seeing it wrong. Harry might save me if I wanted to jump off the North tower, but that doesn't save the pieces of a broken heart."

* * *  
_Draco_

As determined as I was not to wind up in the same place again, here I was pacing the lonely corridor.

It was actually the perfect place, hard to find unless you knew the secret passage, but in the middle of a complex maze of corridors and rooms above, below, and to the sides of it. From where I was right now, if I stayed quiet and concentrated, I could hear conversations from corridors two floors above. Sometimes it made thinking difficult since other voices were echoing, but it also distracted me from unwanted thoughts.

Just not today.

Everything I was hearing right now consisted of the voices in my mind arguing with each other.

I was officially insane, or going to be.

I had completely lost track of where the actual part of _me _was. There was the side I liked to think of as my dad, and the side I envisioned as my mom. Somewhere there should have been an in between where I was, but that had disappeared because obviously I had no choice in the matter. Two lives were ending either way, and as much as I hated, loathed, despised Dumbledore and _her_, I didn't want it to be them either.

Was it so bad to want all of us to live?

_Mercy is weakness._

_Compassion is a sin._

I knew that. It had been drilled into my mind since I was six. I would never have questioned it back then with the threat of torture, but the Cruciatus Curse stopped inducing enough pain years ago. But now that I was being tested on all that I had been taught to do, I was certain I would fail. Because every time I thought about what I had to do, green flashes of light caused my head to throb and screams echoed in my mind.

And when that came up, I had to ask:

_Why me?_

_Why her?_

_Why this?_

_And why now?_

I stopped and stared at the black stone wall, wishing all of this would just end. And although I knew it would never end until I made a decision, I turned to leave.

* * *  
_Hermione_

All the talk about shades of pink (apparently Sephora has named 27 of them, just in case you didn't know) between Selena, Cara, and Grace, as fascinating as it was, became really annoying after two minutes and I decided to take my letter and quill to the common room.

Ginny emerged from her dorm just as I did. "I bet you didn't know there's sixteen ways to wear your hair in a ponytail. So exciting." She said sarcastically.

We laughed and descended the stairs to the common room.

There, Harry and Ron were playing wizard chess and stopped when we came in.

"Hey." Ginny said with a bright smile for Harry. "Who's winning?"

"Me, obviously." Ron said with a smirk.

Ginny sat down next to Harry. "We'll see."

I set my letter on the table next to them and began writing.

"Who are you writing that novel to?" Ron asked, as the parchment was hanging off the desk.

"Viktor." I answered.

"Viktor… _Krum?_"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. How many other Viktors do you know?"

Ron scowled and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Ron you're so moody. I mean you should be embarrassed when you PMS more than your sister." Ginny said.

We giggled and Ron's frown deepened.

"Why does it matter to you anyways?" I asked.

_You have Lavender, don't you?_

"He never even liked you." Ron said with disgust, I'm not sure for me or him. "He just used you and when he was through with you just threw petty words into the air about staying friends. It was obvious from the beginning."

"What?!" I stood up from my chair.

"Ron!" Ginny and Harry stood to defend me.

"Didn't I tell you then? I bet he hasn't replied to a single letter yet." Ron said haughtily.

"As a matter of fact he has!" Which was true, I had the actual letters to prove. "Because maybe he actually _cares _about me!"

"Hermione, calm down." Harry said warily.

"No!" My anger flared. "Ron you don't care about anything anymore except Quidditch and all the popularity it's gotten you. You've never cared about anyone have you? All you ever want to say to me is how I'm wrong and you're right. I haven't even seen Viktor in two years and you're still angry about something we've all moved on from which—"

"Oh, I have moved on." He said scathingly. "Now I've got scores of girls after me, why would I need this from _you_?"

"Ron how can you say that?!" Ginny cried.

I kicked my chair aside and stalked across the common room.

"Hermione, wait! He doesn't mean it!" Ginny said desperately.

"What are you talking about? I mean every word of it." Ron said with an impenetrable glare at me.

The portrait closed behind me without another word from anyone.

* * *  
_Draco_

I stepped out from the secret passage into a branching section of corridors.

Two of them led to the Slytherin common room, one to the staircases, and another to a dead end. In no hurry to rush back to my dorm, I peered down the last corridor, expecting it to be completely dark, but there was a tiny flickering glow. Curious, I made my way down and saw three standing figures and a shadow of a fourth person on the stone wall at the end. Looking closer, I realized Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass, and Sally Anne Perks, the most annoying girls in the school, advancing towards the fourth person. It was Hermione, sitting in the corner with her knees up to her chest crying, completely unaware that she wasn't alone.

With a wicked smirk on her face, Pansy raised her wand.

"_Stupefy_." There were three jets of red light, a loud bang, and the three girls lay on the corridor floor, unconscious.

* * *  
_Hermione_

A loud bang startled me and I turned around.

In front of me, three girls were unconscious, apparently having tried to attack me.

At the end of the corridor, his shadow stretching in the faded light until it reached mine, stood none other than Draco. He spun his wand in his fingers and then put it back in his pocket. Then he looked up at me and our eyes locked for several seconds. His eyes were a startling silver that reminded me of the way light reflected off ice, they were hard, cold, and intense. I felt a shiver down my spine, this was the first time I had really seen into his eyes without seeing malice in them, but the intensity of his stare made me break contact and I looked down.

I wondered why he did it.

If the girls had attacked me, wouldn't his mission be half over already? Wasn't that one less thing for him to do?

I realized that maybe I had been wrong when I judged him.

I realized that maybe, in a strange way, we could help each other.

Because when no one else was there for me, he was.

I stood up slowly and looked up again, only to find that he disappeared.

**_I think this chapter sort of bridged them together and starting next chapter it's going to get complicated. _**

**_Please review ^^ _**


	7. Apples and Oranges

**_Thanks for reviewing Kayla :)_**

_Ron_

Last summer:

_The tension was tangible and even my parents could tell something had happened. They possibly guessed it. I was pretty sure that they, along with Ginny, knew more about what happened than I did. I had no idea what I did wrong, and though I refused to talk to Ginny about it, I was sure she knew. From the looks she gave me when we were in the living room tonight, she definitely knew._

_Talk to her. She mouthed. _

"_What was that, darling?" My mom asked, turning to Ginny._

"_Nothing… absolutely nothing." She said looking down again at the knitting my mom was trying to teach her. Ginny actually seemed to get the hang of it and by the looks of it, was knitting a sweater. _

"_Well, it's late. I think I'll go to bed." Hermione said, closing her book. "Good night."_

_Ginny glared at me. _

"_Um, yeah, it is kind of late. I think I'll go to bed too." _

_Hermione swiftly started up the stairs two at a time, eager to put distance between us. I lengthened my stride and quickened my pace and reached the top of the stairs before her. I turned to face her. Trapped in the narrow staircase, she couldn't get past me in either direction without either pushing past me or asking me to move._

_But she didn't do either._

_She looked up at me with her wide brown eyes and said quietly, "Can I talk to you?"_

_This took me by surprise and I actually took a step back._

"_Uh, sure."_

_Hermione looked behind her and we both realized the house was eerily quiet. "Not here."_

"_Okay." I took her to my room and closed the door._

_She stood in the doorway awkwardly. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell her to sit down, or just stand next to her, but both seemed like out-of-place things to do. Finally, she walked over to the open window, parted the softly floating curtains, and then leaned against the window sill. She looked wistfully out at the crescent moon, glowing brightly in the deep, opaque blue sky, surrounded by tiny, twinkling pinprick stars._

_I watched her with such intensity that I was unaware of myself and that I was completely still, not even breathing, but Hermione was breathing heavily, her breath coming out in white clouds from the cold air rushing in through the window. She shivered slightly, or maybe she was shaking from nervousness. _

"_Are you cold?" I closed the window and leaned against the wall, giving her respectable distance. _

_Hermione shook her head. "No, I was… I was thinking." _

"_About yesterday?" I said impulsively, as I had been thinking about it since the moment it happened, her lips gently brushing my skin, her eyelashes fluttering against my cheek, the feeling upon contact._

_She turned to face me and slowly, hesitantly, lifted her hand and touched the tips of her fingers to my cheek, trailing her fingertips on the five-fingered imprint that faded away yesterday. The one she gave me. She swallowed hard and said in a choked voice, "I'm so sorry about what happened."_

_Thinking that she meant the part where she slapped me, I took her hand, and set it back by her side. "So am I."_

"_I actually… I… oh, never mind." _

_Hermione set her palms flat on the window sill and stared at her hands with a mixed look of hurt and regret, which I didn't understand at the time. I didn't understand that we both misunderstood each other. She was sorry she had let us fool ourselves into believing we could be together, and I gave her the impression that I regretted it just as much as she did. _

_Had I known at the time, maybe I would have done something different, instead of just standing there. I could have taken her hand and told her the truth. I could have kissed her, held her, _had _her. But I didn't. Instead I waited for her to say the next thing, I wanted to know if she regretted everything else, but I didn't have the guts to ask. I didn't think I could handle it if she gave me the answer I feared most._

_So I watched Hermione and waited for her answer. She stood still, thinking, for the next long moment and then looked up at me. "Forget it then. Just forget everything I said, and everything thing that happened."_

"_What?" _

"_I guess we're better off if we leave it all behind." She said, staring intently out the window. I wondered if perhaps I imagined the watery reflection in her eyes. Why would she be upset anyways? "Maybe by tomorrow it will be as if it never happened. I can't imagine if Harry… Oh god… just… well, 'bye." _

_I watched her leave my room and close the door behind her as if nothing had happened._

"_No," I said quietly, "I don't think I could ever forget." I told the empty room. _

* * *  
_Ginny_

"Well, there he is." I said, moodily stabbing a strawberry with my fork, wishing that I could have just ended the relationship as easily as that.

Hermione looked up from _Advanced Potion Making_, but she already knew it was Dean, and coming from the opposite direction Harry and Ron had squeezed in through the crowd and were making their way over as well. I didn't think it could get any worse than that because Lavender had gotten up from the other end of the table. I would now have to endure the rest of breakfast with Dean's false smothering affections, Harry's silence, and my brother's stupidity.

"Hey Gin," Harry smiled at me.

I smiled, just for Harry, but he didn't know that. "Hey."

"How was Slughorn's dinner?" Harry asked. He had skipped out again on the little parties. Rumor had it he was with Romilda Vane, but even _my brother _half suspected she had started it herself.

I shrugged. "It was nice. Half an hour and with me and my silver tongue Slughorn gave me half the answers to tomorrow's quiz. Although I have to say I enjoyed pouring an entire bowl of punch down McLaggen's pants when he wouldn't stop asking me out."

Harry laughed. "Good for you." Contrary to what Hermione said, it didn't sound forced. It only seemed as if he hadn't really laughed in a while and I was wondering why. He seemed no different than last year or before, only taller and better looking. The way I saw it, the only people with rights to be upset were me and Hermione.

"I wish you came." I told him. "You had to be there." I added, just in case. "Maybe next time?"

"Maybe." Harry said.

"Hermione always goes. That way you won't be lonely." I wanted to say that _I _would be there, but that sounded too obvious, so I borrowed Hermione instead. Besides, I usually didn't go anyways.

"Will you?"

I swayed back and forth, the way I always did when I was nervous. "Maybe." I changed my mind and started to say that actually I would if he did, but Dean slid into the spot right next to me and put his arm around my waist.

"Hey Gin." Dean grinned.

_Does he always have to show up with the worst timing? I mean right when we're getting somewhere he has to ruin it?_

"Hi Dean." He leaned forward to kiss me, but I turned slightly to brush my hair out of my face so he kissed my cheek instead of my lips.

But that didn't really change anything, not really. Harry had turned away and started a conversation with Neville about Herbology and there went another chance.

* * *  
_Hermione_

I should have known that Ron had to have been followed by disaster, from the minute he entered the Great Hall with Lavender's eyes following him. When he sat down next to Harry and across from Ginny she immediately left her seat to come to him.

"Where were you last night Won-Won?" Lavender cooed, sitting in his lap.

Ginny put her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggling. _Won-Won? _She mouthed to him, looking like she might die of laughter. He scowled at her before turning to Lavender. "I was studying, why?"

Lavender linked her arms behind his neck and pouted. "I heard you were with… _her._"

I rolled my eyes. What was this, second grade? It's not as if I didn't know she was talking about me.

"Who?" Ron asked, confused.

"You know who I'm talking about." Lavender threw a disgusted look in my direction.

"Oooh…" Realization seemed to finally dawn on him long after the words expired. "Don't worry about it."

Lavender traced the tips of her index finger in circles on his chest. "Why?" She said suspiciously.

"She doesn't mean anything to me."

I could sense the two of them turn to see my reaction, but it wasn't as if I hadn't seen this coming. With Ron's behavior lately and Lavender's rudeness in general, I had expected just as much. Whether or not Ron meant what he said didn't concern me at the moment. Not giving them the satisfaction of getting to me was top priority, so I flipped the page and stirred honey into my tea as if I hadn't heard them.

Lavender tossed her head, "Whatever."

Ron furrowed his eyebrows, as if frustrated at my lack of upset to his words. I suppose the idea of all these girls having nothing better to do but think about him gave him the impression I was going to walk away and burst into tears again, but I wasn't going to give him the feeling of achievement. "Just remember that."

"Oh, I will." Lavender smoothed her hands across his chest and then put them around his neck and leaned forward until all we could see was her writhing on top of him and her blond hair covering his face.

Honestly, if she was going to make out with him at breakfast, she could at least look good doing it instead of acting like a dying fish.

But that was the least of my worries.

As I turned the next page I knocked my fork onto the floor and bent to retrieve it. When I looked up I happened to see Draco, looking bored as he sat surrounded by Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson.

Although I rolled my eyes at the sight of the others, seeing Draco reminded me of something: I owed him. And as much as the thought made my anger flare and burned at my pride, I couldn't avoid the truth. The idea of being in his debt repulsed, infuriated, _scared _and altogether sparked the deep loathing inside of me reserved only for him. But I had to do something, and although it was hard to force myself to, I knew I would regret if it I did otherwise.

I pointed my wand, "_Hyperliquis_."

The pumpkin juice in his glass started rising and spilled over onto the floor. Surprised, he jumped back and looked down.

"_Speciosus formosa_." I drew my wand into the shape of letters.

The orange liquid on the floor began to condense and form the letters I had dictated to spell a single word.

_Yes._

I emerged from underneath the table and set down the fork I had dropped. Just as I found my plate in the book again, an apple from the bowl of fruit sitting in the center rolled across the table and came to a stop in front of me. I looked around and no one had noticed. I picked it up and nearly dropped it again.

To my surprise, the moment my fingertips touched it, words began to form, cutting into the red skin of the apple.

_Meet me in the Room of Requirement._

The words were underlined and then disappeared again, leaving the surface of the apple perfectly smooth and shiny. I saw the reflection of my confused expression as a new set of words appeared.

_At nine tonight._

And then underlined twice,

_Don't be seen._

* * *_  
Ginny_

_Stupid Snape._

_What's the point of O.W.L.s anyways?_

_Oh, and I didn't forget, I hate you Dean._

I furiously flipped the pages of _A History of Moonstones _but no, I still couldn't find the information I needed for my last paragraph.

Almost at the point of screaming with frustration, I stormed down the aisle and shoved the book back onto the shelf, causing it to start cussing at me. I shouted a few choice words back at it as I yanked books off the shelves, ranting mutinously under my breath. I know, I'm being pissy and unreasonable, but if you took a walk around the library you'd see the entire fifth year population, stereotype of every kind, studying furiously with steam pouring out of their ears as they tried to write Snape's essay.

I turned to the next row of books and crashed right into a solid wall.

Harry chuckled. "Hey Gin."

"Ow." I blinked stars out of my eyes. That wasn't a solid wall, I had walked right into Harry and smacked my forehead into his chest.

"Are you okay?" He put his hands on my shoulders to steady me because I was swaying from side to side out of nervousness again.

"Yeah, sorry." I moved onto the next row of books, feeling elated by his sudden appearance.

"Looking for this?" Harry reached up and pulled a thick book off the shelves. _An Introduction to Advanced Antidotes. _He turned it over and a list of major components was bulleted on the back, moonstone the third. "I remember that from last year." He tossed it to me.

"Thanks. I'd have torched down the whole library if you hadn't shown up." I flipped it open to the table of contents. "So what brings you here? I doubt you were here for me." I closed the book and walked down the aisle to my table.

"Why is that?" He put his arm on my shoulder and grinned down at me.

_I officially now like being short._

"Because I know you so well." I said sarcastically.

"Well I was actually looking for Hermione." Harry moved his arm and I felt empty again. "Good luck with your essay." He smiled and left.

_Am I ever going to have that moment?_

I sat down and painstakingly wrote six sentences for the last paragraph before shoving my essay into my bag and taking the three books on the table to put back on the shelves. As I passed by the Herbology section I heard Harry's voice.

_Don't say that, you know you matter to me. And even if no one else did I would hope that counts for at least something._

I didn't stay to hear Hermione's response, but I doubted it would have changed anything. No matter what she said in return, it didn't change the meaning of his words, and that's possibly what hurt the most.

* * *  
_Hermione_

I looked up from my almost finished rune translations. "Hey." I dipped my quill into ink and proceeded with my work.

"Hey." Harry pulled out the chair across from me and sat down.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes awfully short and terse exchanges consisting only of monosyllables are completely wrong and indicate absolutely nothing. I had assignments piled up that needed finishing and Harry knew the library wasn't the best place to hold serious conversation what with Madam Pince and the occasional die-hard gossip monger hiding between bookshelves eavesdropping, which sometimes _was _Madam Pince.

But I already knew that this wasn't one of those times when _hey _stands for an hour of companionable silence where we write our essays.

This is one of those times when _hey _means _Hey, I know why you're here and I'm not going to stop you from saying what you desperately have to say, just wait for me to finish this one thing. _And then _hey _really means _Hey I need to talk to you so finish this and then I'm going to delve into a conversation that's probably going to make you either love or hate me._

But most of my conversations fall under the _hate me _category.

That's because the simple question of who doesn't sometimes doesn't even include me.

I stacked up all my translation charts and put my paper on top of it. I already knew what he was going to say, but I was going to wait for him to say it anyways because I needed time to come up with an answer. "Okay, what is it?"

"Don't you already know what I'm going to say?"

Because I usually do.

I crossed my arms and pushed my chair back. "Fine, I do." I stood up and grabbed the stack of books that needed to be put back on the shelves. Harry reached out his arms to take the books for me, but I turned on my heel and started off. "And to answer that: no, I don't think I am." I stopped and put _One Thousand and One Magical Herbs and Fungi _back on the shelf before continuing on. "But I don't really care."

"About him, or her, or you?" Harry asked.

"All of it." I snapped, shoving _Twenty Greatest Herbologists of the Seventeenth Century _onto its shelf so hard that a dust cloud engulfed me, causing me to cough and drop all my books.

Harry bent down to help me pick up the books. "Really?"

"Really." I grabbed the books from his arms and proceeded down the aisle. I knew I was being snappy and rude, but he understood, and sometimes being friends means seeing every side of a person. "I honestly could care less."

"Honestly?" If I had turned around I would have seen a partly amused expression on his face, but I really wasn't in the mood for it.

"Fine, most of me could care less, but hey, since when have _I _mattered to anyone?" I slammed the three books of _A Series of Underwater Wonders _into their places on the shelves and huffing, turned for the next row.

Harry grabbed my arm and spun me around. "Don't say that, you know you matter to me. And even if no one else did I would hope that counts for at least something."

My face flushed crimson and my eyes teared up. Not for the reason you think, not because I was in love with him or anything, because you know as far as that goes, we're just friends. But because everything so far had just taken its toll on me and I felt again, like I was singled out alone to be the only lonely. Maybe because no one really ever said things like _you know, you're the best friend I've ever had, _or _don't be sad, I care about you. _Because at a certain point in relationships sometimes you take these things for granted and don't know that they don't exist.

"Hermione, are you crying?" Harry brushed the tears falling from my eyelashes with his thumb. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"No, it's okay." I turned around again and plowed through a group of fifth years studying for their O.W.L.s and nearly ran someone over. "I'm fine, for the most part. I can handle it Harry, I can do this by myself. Thanks though, for… caring, Harry."

"What?"

I know, it sounded weird.

"I mean, thanks for being my friend. Sometimes I forget what it's like to have someone who cares."

Harry started to respond, but the group of fifth years came in and started putting their books back. I looked up at the clock, which was only seconds away from nine.

"Oh my god." I said suddenly. "It's nine."

"Yeah, so?"

"I have to go." I ran back to the table and shoved all my stuff in my bag.

As I ran out of the library, I heard the vibrating chimes of the clock tower indicating that it was time. Making sure no one was following, I made my way through corridors and past crowds until I stopped in front of the door of the Room of Requirement. I closed my eyes, thought _I need to see Draco, _and paced the length of the wall three times.

Then I opened my eyes and with a sense of foreboding, I threw the doors open.

**_Review please :)_**

**_And am I the only person who notices that the Harry in the movies is always cold and distant? And that the movie director loves putting in Harry/Hermione moments?_**


	8. Blood and Honey

**_Thanks tat1312 and Kayla for reviewing :)_**

_Hermione_

Last summer:

_Ginny must have been the first person up that morning. At six I was woken up by the sound of curtains being pulled apart and the sunlight streaming in through the window. _

"_Rise and shine!" She said brightly. "Harry's going to be here soon and I don't want to be stumbling down the stairs in my pajamas with bed head."_

"_Uh huh…" _

_I didn't quite process her words until several minutes after she had gone downstairs and started banging around the kitchen. When I finally did, I threw back the covers and got dressed and ready as fast as possible. I ran downstairs and joined Ginny, who was preparing a huge breakfast with zeal. _

"_So how come you're so excited to see him?" Ginny asked suspiciously, whisking eggs. _

"_Oh… uh… no reason." I said, wishing I had thought this through. _

_The truth is, as much as I loved being with Harry and all that, he was only a friend. The reason I was so glad for him to come was that I could finally put what happened with Ron out of my head. With Harry, there would be so many other things to talk about and with the fate of the world at hand, I would have something other than Ron to worry about._

_Ginny poured some of the egg onto the frying pan in a perfect circle and laughed with disbelief. "Sure. I guess there was no way I could have him all to myself anyways."_

_I stopped in the middle of slicing sausages. "What?"_

"_Well, he's cute, a Quidditch player, pretty smart, got a fierce edge to him, and with all the 'Chosen One' stuff going around… I shouldn't be too surprised I'm not the only one." She said, putting cheese, minced mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and basil on the omelet. "I mean I did know that you liked him, it just never really sank in for some reason."_

_Before I could ask Ginny what in the world she was talking about, we heard loud footsteps that could only belong to Ron. I shut my mouth and gave Ginny a look that told her I would most definitely finish this conversation later. She smiled, put her index finger and thumb together, and drew them across her lips with a teasing look in her eyes._

_I wondered if I had possibly just made my life even more complicated._

* * *

He didn't say anything when I walked in, which meant I could either give him icy silence and force him to speak, or say something myself.

I didn't really know what to expect, so I opted to give him a long hard stare before lying across the leather couch in the corner. If he needed me so badly, he would just have to speak up and come to me himself. I leaned back and examined all the strange objects on the shelf behind me. I knew at some point he had to approach me because he was the one who told me to come. So now here I was, and he was probably wondering what he was supposed to say.

Because really, what do you tell someone after six years of two-way unadulterated hatred?

I guess that threw _Hey, how's life _out the window particularly when it seemed like some kind of joke if you take what he said about killing me into account.

I turned and stared at him with a blank expression and he stared back at me, with expressionless features, but confusion and conflict in his eyes, which I still half expected to be black and an endless oblivion of malice. But no, they were startling silver and storm clouds were forming behind the thick glass panes of the only windows that indicated any feeling whatsoever.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, he was obviously having speech issues.

"I'll set out your options for you." I said, "If you want my help, you better get down on your knees and beg for a second chance, and if you just want to get it all over with, hit me with your best shot."

I must have cracked the glass or ripped off the lock, because suddenly it was back to the old and spitefully arrogant ego maniac who sneered back at me. "You're the one who has dirt in your veins, what makes you think I'll get down on the ground for you?"

I shrugged. "Fine." I swung my feet off the couch and got on my feet. "I've told you, I'm not afraid of you, so sharpen your knives and ready your weapons, I don't care." I walked to the door without giving him a second glance.

"Wait." He grabbed my wrist tightly as it reached for the door knob.

I flexed my fingers, which were white. Now I knew for sure that he needed me. "Is that a request for me to stay and accept your apology? Or a command from a so-called superior?"

I twisted my hand free with one quick and fluid motion, forcing his arm back at an impossible angle. I heard his arm crack loudly and he winced, probably because I'd just popped his ulna out of place. I drew my wand and he clumsily did too, but he had grabbed me with his right hand, which now wasn't going to be able to wield a wand. He couldn't fight me now, because chances were, his left hand wasn't as deft at wand movements.

I stepped forward and stared at him until he locked eyes with me. This time his eyes were glassed over, not like he'd just had one too many drinks, but like he was purposely concealing his thoughts. I let mine storm and rage at him until the intensity of my stare made him blink and step back, surrendering the upper hand to me.

"I'm sick of your pathetic two minutes appearances where you try and delude me with pretty words, dangling empty threats to follow, and trying to balance it all out with one heroic act. You're not manipulating me, and you're not fooling me. I know what you think of me." I saw a muscle in his jaw tremble and knew he was locking his words down until there was a chance to let them explode and push me back down. "You think I'm just a filthy inferior and you only want me around to attend to your problems because your own cowardice is standing in the way."

His eyes flashed angrily and he opened his mouth to retort, but the look of _I knew it _must have caused him to back down.

I realized that this wasn't the right way to approach it. Empty words thrown like darts weren't going to have any substantial effect, so what was the point in wasting my time with that? I gripped my wand and decided to give him just one more chance and slashed my wand down on my left wrist, opening a gash across two veins. I pointed my wand at him and cut his right wrist. Droplets and trails of red resurfaced with every pulse. I held out my wrist and slowly, reluctantly, he raised his arm and turned it, palm facing up. He glared icily at me for a moment before lowering his eyes to look.

Two streams of deep red surged to the pale white surfaces, ruby red beads sliding down one after another and falling to the floor, where they glittered like glass and then shattered all the same. They pulsed to the open air with the same rhythm, the criss-crossing of red trails intertwining, free falling to the end with a cadence now in sync with the heavy in and out of our breathing.

* * *  
_Draco_

I was torn in every way possible. Voices were raging in my mind, making it impossible to think, impossible to listen. I couldn't hear my own thoughts. Everything was dominated by either the thundering voice of my father, or the whispers of my mother, none of which I wanted in my mind. I couldn't find myself until I felt it leave me, like the blood trickling down my wrist, but at this point it was a relief to be able to feel anything at all except the anguish of being ripped apart.

I was shaking, involuntarily and uncontrollably. It was almost somewhat of a relief to feel her suddenly icy demeanor chill me to the core and I fought the entities inside me and looked up at her.

"They're the same." She said, turning her wrist so that droplets rolled off her wrist onto mine, blending into the pool and becoming just another drop identical to the others. "Aren't they?"

I nodded slightly. My arm was shaking, not from blood loss, but because I felt every individual muscle and tendon being stretched as far as it could until I was sure I would fall apart. There was part of me that urged me to blast her into pieces, who was she to spill her tainted blood onto mine? The other minor presences inside of me had faded into ghost whispers constantly trying to tell me something, but only making my brain fuzzy.

I fought myself to stay standing, but it was harder every minute as breaking point came closer. I was losing all control, my arm felt like lead, the blood pouring out like burning venom, the oxygen in my lungs like knives. The only focus I could manage to hold onto her was hazy, but somewhere in that her eyes conveyed all that I needed to know, even if her voice sounded far away. I felt the evil inside of me driving me away, waiting until I was far enough to pin me down.

"The difference isn't in the blood. It's in our hearts, what circulates it. Maybe you don't know, but a real heart cares. It's capable of compassion, and it's not always easy and it's feeling, not a rank of status. There's love. I know you think it's a sin, it's weakness, but love makes people stronger, better. And forgiveness. It's not the same as foolishness. It's harder than you think. And if you'd just open _your _heart, I could show you what real forgiveness is."

Her words rang in my mind. _Compassion. Feeling. Love. Sin. Forgiveness. Real. Weakness. _

How did she know? _Did _she really know?

"Because I don't think you understand. Maybe you have a heart, because otherwise you wouldn't stand right here, you wouldn't see red glass pieces. But if there is, it's just a metal machine. It does what it's biologically supposed to, but you don't know what it's really there for. And that's important. Because from the start, we're all the same. Blood, bone and muscle. But in the end it's what those things make out of _you, _the person that makes it all come together."

There was a whirlwind of thoughts in my mind, all of her words tangled in the thoughts crammed into my mind that didn't belong to me, only so few of them my own, and even then it was hard to decipher. I had faded into a mere wisp of a person, unable to even think for myself. It felt like I wasn't seeing through my own eyes, wasn't inside my own mind, wasn't even real. We were standing perfectly still, like wax figures, with only a syncopation of pulses reminding us we weren't frozen in transparent cages.

"Some people are stitched together on the outside, but they know who they are. Some people are whole on the outside and falling apart inside." _I don't even know how I'm still whole outside when there's nothing inside to support it_. "If it's pieces of you inside that don't fit, I'll help, but if it's just a cracked image on the outside, then you're living on the other side of the mirror, where everything's just colored smoke and lighting."

I'm both.

I'm living in another universe where nothing's real, not even me. The only way out was to climb out the mirror onto the side of reality, but now it's broken. I couldn't do anything except stand in place as the shards pierced into me, drawing blood that I couldn't lose, because it was the only human component left of me. There's no way out, unless someone was to look in and not for vainglory the way I did, but to find me. And even then it might be too late.

"Don't wait until it's too late." She whispered, lightly running her wand over her wrist so the wound closed up. She reached her hand out to me.

My body was completely stiff, as if carved from stone. Everything was held in place with _fear_. Fear that I was wrong and that we would all die. Fear that all of this was just another illusion, because it was all too real to be true. Fear that if I defied that dominating presence inside of me it might destroy me from the inside out. Maybe it was even fear for her, that I was endangering her more than I was saving her.

And though I was far from a hero, I couldn't let her save me and then fall through the invisible glass into oblivion.

But I needed her.

_I need her._

I closed my eyes, and against all that I had learned, all I'd ever known, and all the screaming forces inside of me, I reached out my hand and took hers.

Then suddenly my eyes snapped open and I felt as if lightning had just struck me and I couldn't stop the shaking. But it didn't really matter, because I'd just won. I'd defied the domineering part of me that threatened to take over. For a moment it was like I let it bleed from my veins and disappear forever, but I knew it was far from that.

And that's why I needed her.

She tapped her wand on my arm and I felt the dislocated bone in my arm pop into place.

"Thanks, um Granger." I said quietly.

"I'll get that cut on your wrist for you." She said softly.

"It's fine." I clumsily pointed my wand and bandages wound around my wrist. I didn't want her to close up the wound, I wanted it to leave a scar. Something I could look at and remember.

* * *  
_Hermione_

Any time spent in the Great Hall or common room was becoming increasingly awkward.

Ginny had been strangely quiet for several days, Ron and I weren't speaking, and Harry was trying to keep the peace, but when it didn't work, retreated to silence. Funny enough, the people I was talking to the most were Pansy Parkinson, who I had three classes with, Lavender, who had some sort of bet with the other girls in our dorm that she could get me to confess about Ron, and Draco. We had taken to meeting in the Room of Requirement whenever possible, but neither of us knew what a good plan was supposed to be. The meetings were rather awkward too, but not as bad, because having nothing to say was different than not saying what you wanted to.

Lucky for me, no one really cared what I was up to, unless it was with Ron, so as long as no one saw me I was perfectly fine. I had taken to almost _preferring _being in the Room of Requirement with Draco, who at least _tried _and made an effort to change, rather than being stuck in the common room where it was back to maddening cycles of silence and jealousy fits. I seldom talked to anyone now, and unless it was rude, Ron had nothing to say to me either, for the most part.

Everything seemed to slow to a stop for a while, and for that while life was nice because I had nothing to worry about. I wasn't being updated on Ginny and Dean, so there was nothing there, Harry wasn't one for emotional sessions, I didn't talk to Ron, and so far Draco and I had been stuck on our plans and our meetings were simply attempts to be civil to each other. He had gotten past calling me Mudblood, and I'd started growing wary of Harry's constant rants about him being a horrible nasty Death Eater when he was trying to save my life.

Except all of this went out the door four weeks later.

It was Monday night, and no one was in a particularly good mood because naturally Professor Snape had given us a surprise practical test where we had to make the impossibly hard Solaninity Serenity, Professor McGonagall started a new unit that involved turning plants into animals, and we'd all been beaten up by various plants in Herbology.

Because there was a Charms test the next day, I stayed in the empty Transfiguration classroom practicing how to conjure various objects.

"_Avis_." I pointed my wand upwards and five golden birds shot out my wand and began flying around the room. "_Revolvo_." The birds lined up and flew in a circle around my head. I ran my finger down the list of spells Professor Flitwick had given us as a review. "_Ferra Flitia._" The birds speeded up their flight and surrounded me in a golden blur and slowly, I began to rise off the ground. I threw my head back and spread out my arms as I rose up to ceiling height and my body turned horizontally so I was floating on the air the way I would float in a pool. I closed my eyes, this felt nice, and the fast beating of the birds' wings were creating small currents of air.

"Nice charm work."

I lost my train of thought concerning the birds and they stopped flying and I fell in a heap on the floor.

"Thanks Draco." I said sarcastically. "That definitely helped."

He grabbed my hands, pulled me to my feet, and then led me to the stairs.

"So, um why are you here anyways?" I asked.

We didn't acknowledge each other's presence outside of our secret meetings in the Room of Requirement. It was like I didn't exist to him outside of those four walls and I pretended I didn't see him. Curiosity overcame me. He sat down two steps below me and leaned back on his elbows.

"We're running out of time."

_I know. _"There has to be something you can do that counts as effort, but won't hurt anyone."

"Like what?" His eyes iced over.

"I don't know. Weren't you researching something about the Vanishing Cabinet? I'm not the expert on these things, I mean that stuff's all in Borgin and Burkes and besides that ugly necklace I saw the other day I don't know—"

"What necklace?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know it was silver and opals and hideous, not to mention cursed and expensive." I stopped. "Why?"

Draco smiled wryly, and it caused goosebumps to crawl up my arms. "I think that's the answer. I saw that necklace the other day and something like that gives off strong traces of dark magic, so it'll never make it inside the school with all of Filch's Secrecy Sensors."

"Are you sure?" I said doubtfully.

"When you saw it, the necklace was inside a red glass case right?"

I wracked my brain for details and vaguely remembered that the glass was tinted red. "Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Objects that are cursed for a long period of time begin to accumulate magic of their own. When they get newer, stronger powers, they give off their old powers in the form of dangerous dust traces. That's why the glass is red, because as the necklace gets more powerful, it releases that red dust and if it wasn't concealed in the case then everyone in Knockturn Alley would be dead."

"Oh…okay…" I said slowly, shocked that he knew so much about cursed objects.

I mean I guess I should have known, but he was talking about the power of cursed objects as if discussing the weather. Sure, knowledge about cursed objects was probably important in this little mission he had, but it still freaked me out, because for so long I'd been used to knowing everything I needed to know.

"My father collects them." He said, reading the expression on his face. I was slightly relieved to hear disgust in his voice.

"Well if you're sure this is going to work…" I said. "Then I guess all you have to do is Imperius me and give me the necklace. It'll get caught by the Sensor, they'll see I was cursed, and we just bought ourselves more time, right?"

"No." Draco said harshly, more so than necessary. His face had paled until it was whiter than a sheet of paper and his eyes were wide. "That's to dangerous."

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm supposed to be dead, nothing's too dangerous. Besides, where are you going to find volunteers for this?"

He shook his head. "I'll get Pansy Parkinson or someone else who doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" I hissed. "I don't want to be responsible for—"

"Sh!" Draco suddenly cut me off. "Someone's coming, I have to go."

Before I could even ask what was going on, he disappeared, and a second later, I heard footsteps approaching the room. I quickly conjured the birds again so I wouldn't be questioned, and as they twittered over my head, the door opened again.

"Oh, hey. I thought I heard you." Harry said, sitting next to me. "Are you okay?"

I quickly recomposed my expression. I was still reeling from my conversation with Draco. "I… I'm fine. We were—I mean me—I was just talking—I mean practicing for, um, for… Charms." I mentally kicked myself and wished I was a better liar. The sad thing was that it wasn't even a lie.

Harry clearly didn't buy it. "You know you can be honest with me right?"

_Oh really? Then would you like to know that I've been secretly meeting with your sworn enemy for the past four weeks? Hm, NO._

I swallowed past the knot of words in my throat. "Right. It's just that um, everything's been like… difficult I guess."

I shouldn't be making a big deal out of it, but in the past, if there was anyone I could be completely honest to, it was Harry. I didn't tell him everything, but I always found comfort in the confidence that if he knew, it wouldn't change anything. He'd stay my best friend, maybe my only real friend. But now I had to lie to him, about something that if he found out about, he would surely hate me for the rest of my life.

I hadn't realized just what a big risk it was to let myself work together with Draco. Everything we did was in the gray area between good and bad, I was not supposed to be talking to him and he was not supposed to let me live, we had no idea what would happen if our plans went wrong or if they even succeeded, because what would that accomplish? There was absolutely no way to pull ourselves out of the situation we had put ourselves into, and I was now having to spin a web of lies.

I felt a stab of pain in my chest and the sting of tears in my eyes.

_No, no, this is not happening. This. Is. Not. Happening._

I always did have a thing for overreacting, even if it was something big, like from this point on, symbolically losing my best friend.

The next thing I knew I was crying into Harry's shirt and he was telling me that it was alright. And then it hit me that he still thought I was upset about Ron, when the truth was, I had no time to think about him. Not to be selfish, but if I died, it wouldn't matter to me if Lavender just laughed and ended up marrying Ron and having fourteen kids. Presently, I was had issues with people like Lord Voldemort and his entire entourage, so naturally, I wasn't all too worried about Ron and his cruelty in continuing to try and prove his point even if it meant tearing me to pieces, or Lavender and how everything about her was like poisonous honey, sticking everywhere and never going away.

"I'm sorry." I pulled myself away.

_God I hate myself. What have I just done? Why did I have to do that? What's wrong with me????_

"Don't, you shouldn't be." He said softly, squeezing my hand.

If only he understood. He wouldn't be sitting next to me, letting me cry onto his shoulder. I shouldn't even be the one crying.

There was a loud crash and we froze as Ron and Lavender appeared from a secret passage that emerged from the wall, knocking over a row of desks. Lavender was holding Ron's hand and there were smears of pink lipstick on his neck, cheek, and smudges on his lips. Lavender giggled loudly and leaned heavily against him.

"Oops!" She said, eyes dancing with excitement, for tomorrow she was going to have the ultimate piece of gossip to offer the rumor mill. "I think this room's taken." She said suggestively, leaning against Ron, watching him.

Ron stared at us with a stony glare. Because he was staring at our hands, which were loosely intertwined. However, Harry didn't seem to catch on, because he merely looked confused and didn't pull away, like he would if he knew what Ron's cold demeanor and Lavender's words were suggesting. Once again, she had managed to create an awkward situation and made time crawl slower than reality.

The thought made me angry, not because Lavender was with Ron, but because she was purposely trying to make it as unbearable for me as possible. She must have sensed my swelling anger, because she giggled and tugged Ron's hand. "Let's go."

Ron gave us a venomous look before turning.

I stood up, pulling my hand away from Harry's and pointed my wand. "_Apugno." _The birds shot towards the two of them like gold bullets and one managed to tangle itself in Lavender's hair while the others repeatedly clawed Ron.

Harry stayed in place, eyes darting between me and them.

Feeling no remorse whatsoever, I walked past them and out the door.

**_It'd be nice if you reviewed ^^_**


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